There’s No Rush – The Feminine Way to Sobriety, Slowing Down & Softening Part 2

Let’s start with this: you don’t need me. You don’t need another book, another podcast, another guru telling you what to do. You already have everything you need inside of you. The problem? We’ve been conditioned to search outside of ourselves instead of trusting what’s already there.

In today’s episode, we’re continuing our conversation about The Feminine Way by diving into Principle #2: Luxurious Space. We’re talking about releasing the urgency, softening into trust, and giving yourself permission to slow the hell down.

I’ll share how this shift has shown up in my life—from honoring my body’s rhythms to restructuring my mornings and even how Matthew and I changed our financial dynamic to create more flow. It all comes down to this: There’s no rush.Everything will get done, and when we stop forcing and start listening, life meets us where we are.

Key Takeaways:

🌿 There's no rush—stop gripping so tightly and let life unfold.
🌿 Your schedule should support you, not control you.
🌿 If you’re pushing through resistance, ask: What happens if I just pause?
🌿 You don’t have to figure it all out—just find out by taking the next step.
🌿 The feminine way is about trusting that the answers will come when you stop forcing them.

This week, I invite you to pause. To stop trying to figure things out and instead just be in the experience. What shifts when you stop rushing?

🔗 Try Magic Mind with 20% off: magicmind.com/maryW20

Accountability is the key to lasting change. I’m here to not only help you eliminate the desire to drink but to fall in love with your alcohol-free life. Ready to make it real? Book a private connection call now! 💫

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Transcript

Mary Wagstaff: 0:02

Music. Welcome to stop drinking and start living the feminine way. I'm your hostess. Mary Wagstaff, holistic alcohol coach and feminine embodiment guide here to help you effortlessly release alcohol by reclaiming your feminine essence. Sobriety isn't just about quitting drinking, it's about removing the distortions that keep you disconnected, overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of numbing. Each week, I'll share powerful tools, new perspectives that transform and deeply relatable stories to help you step into the power pleasure and purpose that it is to be a woman. This is your next evolution of awakened empowerment. Welcome to the feminine way. Welcome back to the show. My beautiful listeners, the first thing I want to say today is that you don't need me. You don't need anyone. You don't need a podcast, and yes, we do need community. You don't need another self help book. You don't need another guru. You don't need anything except for the magic that you were born with, the miracle of the life force that is pulsing inside of you, because your wholeness already exists, and until you access that truth, you can't expand to new heights, right? Because we do grow, we do become different versions of ourself. But I said this recently on the podcast from the the podcast I've been listening to curly Nikki, and I don't know if it was her quote or someone she was quoting, but she said there's only one person in your audience, and that's God. There is you, and there is the divine, and the Divine is within you. And so there is nothing that I can tell you that you don't already know yourself. And I truly believe that, and I believe that, you know, we are in this existential kink of getting the thing that we say we don't want because it makes us feel because we don't know how to be in our pleasure. And that really is the feminine way. There is this resistance to relaxation, there is resistance to receptiveness. And until we can be in a non hustling, non masculine way in our feminine self, we will continue to search outside of ourselves for things that we think are going to be fulfilling and meaningful and satisfying, but it's the relationship with yourself that you have, of those things that you have, of your mothering that you have, of your your part of you that is a caretaker, a spouse, a partner, right Though the relationship that you have with that part of you that becomes fulfilling. And I just like when I teach yoga classes, just like when I coach, I am just a guide, and I don't know more than you do, right? I have more experience of awareness, of thoughts that I've generated, of the confidence that I have, but I'm still just on this journey. I'm, you know, and the the skill set that we learn, right? Are things that we we learn, but I believe we can all learn them. And do we have special, unique gifts that are ourselves? Sure, you know, I do think, and I've shared this with you, that I came into this world with one mission, which is to find spiritual truth. And I think we kind of all have that, but it was just, it's a little bit more leading in my chart, some people have, you know, abundance, like their pleasure and abundant of things, relationships or fulfillment through creative projects. But for me, it's been spiritual seeking, but now it's really spiritual seeing. It's no longer seeking, and I did that for a really long time. So what I wanted to share with you today is how to move through relaxation, resistance with the second principle of the feminine way. Last week, we talked about creating safety for yourself, and there's many ways to do that. Resourcing, self resourcing, is one way you can ground, right? Safety is in our root chakra. It's grounded. But then we lift up and we start to access these higher energy centers so that the feminine is the creative force. It's we talked about receptivity, pleasure and expansion, surrender in the sense. Principle is space is luxurious space. So here's and we're still, we're still on the vibe for this month, which is finding out versus figuring it out. So here's the thought, there's no rush versus I've got to figure it out. There's no rush. I'm ahead of schedule. How does that land in your body? When you tell yourself there's no rush immediately, when I say that, my eyes are wide open, I'm right in the present moment. I'm not in my mind, in the future or in the past. I'm right here right now. It's such a gift of permission. So when you find yourself running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to get one more thing off your to do list before you snuggle yourself in bed, to get some rest before you know when you're like, Oh, I just gotta empty the dishwasher before I can put my feet up. I want you to pause, and I want you to pivot, and I want you to remind yourself there's no rush, because a satisfying life is a life that you approve of. And if the dishes even needed a pile up for three days and you needed to clean one dish at a time just to eat them. So what? But if you could actually be in the relaxation of the life you've created of your hard work of being a woman, and what it feels like. I talked about this earlier in the year that one of my missions was to honor my schedule, and what I've realized is that my schedule is cyclical, and I'm a morning person, so like, I get up, I'm doing I'm working with a personal trainer on a challenge. I've been training to get myself in, potentially competition shape, at least that's a goal. So I'm there every day, and I've committed to that. But, you know, I'm usually up at five out of bed and I'm ready to go. But the days when I'm not, I really honor that, and I have decided that I need to figure something else out, that I need to take something else out of my schedule. I need to do my workout later. I need to push something else later, because I as much as I've committed to my schedule, I've also committed to this. I've also committed to giving myself space and honoring my body. Now, of course, if you have to, like, be at a job at nine o'clock and you got to get the kids up, there's some other there's some other things right now? I'm not talking about sleeping in until 10 o'clock here. I'm talking about my body's not get like today. Actually, this happened. The alarm went off, I put the phone back by my bed, and I laid back down, and Matthew ended up getting up before me, and he knows that if I'm resting, that I've made the decision to continue to rest. It has changed by digestion. It has changed my mood in the evening. It has changed so much for me. Instead of having resistance to it, I decide it's not a problem. I can figure it out, right? There's no rush. There's no rush to get to the gym. There's no rush to like Emmett eats like a bird, right? Like he can, like he eats like cereal or whatever. There's no rush. There's no rush for any of it, to keep the house tidy, to send out another email. I can get it. I can figure it out. It'll all get done. And the truth is, is, when I show up from the place that there's no rush, what energy is that for you? It's relaxed, it's receptive, and it's expansive versus I've got to get it done. It's got to be done now. I've got to figure this out. She's going to find out and see what happens. And then we come back to what's the worst case scenario, maybe a sensation. Now, if someone's depending on me, and I have my word I do it, what I say I'm gonna do, right? But when it comes to living in the feminine, it comes to cyclical living. I am not going to honor my schedule to the detriment of myself. That's what I used alcohol for. I would use alcohol to, sometimes to relax, to get more energy where there was none. That's not how the feminine that's not the feminine way. The feminine way is there's no rush, and it can wait. Because where am I rushing to? Where are we rushing to? There's two truths. We are born, and then we die, and we have this time in between figuring it out, we're just kind of like making it up until we die. How do you want to spend it? You want to spend it with a schedule and a to do list? Or do you want to spend it living in the pleasure of the moment with yourself making the best choices to support your nervous system? Because the truth is, is you're going to live a. Lot longer, when you step into your pleasure, when you soften, when you relax, when you stop with the rigidity of your life, okay, there's no rush giving yourself luxurious space to make change, to transition. You don't have to have it figured out. I don't have to have this figured out. I'm going to learn through observation. I'm going to learn through curiosity. Most importantly, I'm going to learn by listening to the way that my body responds to the day. So if you are not drinking, but you're still not feeling great. This is a great place to start. Where can you soften and where can you listen more? Where are you ignoring the wisdom of your body? And this will lead into our third part of the feminine way, and I am just in such admiration of you for hearing the call, because you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be inquiring, you wouldn't be listening and really Taking this right? We can listen to all the things, but sometimes we have to put blinders on, and that's why I started this call with saying, you don't need anything else. What if for today, you decided to stop. I have enough information. I don't need to figure it out. I'm going to find out now by first hand, embodied experience, and I'm going to stop taking in more information. And this is, you know, where I believe coaching comes in, is that we give ourselves the luxury of being in the practice of it, because the practice of it is what is hard for it to stick right, and being in the permission of the practice that it is practice so that we can, we can tell our story, we can evaluate what happened, and we can really make a make a different mindset approach. It's not a plan. It's not a rigid plan. It's the energy and the mindset you want to take into it next time, and knowing how do we work with our ever changing, cyclical needs, we have to do it from a place there's no rush. And that's why the program that I offer people is an extended program, because to really regulate your nervous system into a new way of being that feels actually really safe does require time, so I would love for you to jump on a one on one call with me, so I can tell you more about my coaching mentorship, and hear you and hear your story and really witness You in your aliveness. I'll talk to you soon. If something in today's episode spoke to you deeply you are ready for your next level of awakening, and I want to invite you to book a sober glow up activation session with me where we can rewrite your alcohol story. Right now, we'll remove the energetic blocks that are keeping you stuck and stagnant to activated and alive, to book a session and to learn more, just follow the link right here in the show notes, or head on over to my website, Mary Wagstaff coach.com and find out what it means to truly live life from your most authentic self. I will See you over there. You