Loosen Your Grip On Trying To Figure Out Alcohol

🔗 Try Magic Mind with 20% off: magicmind.com/maryW20

Today, we’re diving into what it really means to surrender and trust your next evolution. Whether it's shifting your relationship with alcohol, your career, or any part of your life, the key isn’t figuring it out—it’s finding out by loosening your grip and stepping into curiosity.

I share personal updates on balancing my online work with the new life my family and I are building on our farm. I also reflect on how resistance shows up when we’re being called to something new and how sometimes, we need to let go of “the way things have always been” to allow something even better to emerge.

With the arrival of Lent, Venus retrograde, and the shift into spring, this is an invitation to pause, empty out, and make space for what’s truly calling you.

Key Takeaways:

🌿 Your next evolution is already calling—you just have to listen.
🌿 FOMO isn’t real when you’ve already experienced something. What if you stopped holding on so tightly?
🌿 Loosening your grip doesn’t mean failure. It means creating space for clarity and divine timing.
🌿 Personal transformation isn’t about “figuring it out” but rather allowing it to unfold.
🌿 This season is about deepening your devotion—to yourself, to what’s right in front of you, and to the unknown possibilities ahead.

Want to step into your own awakening? Try 40 days of releasing control—whether it’s alcohol, caffeine, social media, or the need to have all the answers. See what happens when you stop forcing and start receiving.

I’d love to hear what’s calling you right now! Send me a DM on Instagram or email me. And don’t forget—leave a review on Apple Podcasts, screenshot it, and send it my way for a free gift to support your journey.

Let’s loosen our grip and step into the Feminine Way together.

✨ Resources & Links:
🔗 Try Magic Mind with 20% off: magicmind.com/maryW20
🔗 Book a Sober Glow Up Activation Session: marywagstaffcoach.com

Let me know if you want any tweaks!

It's time to GLOW-UP and just in time for the warm weather. Shake off the stagnant, stuck energy and activate your aliveness. Book a Sober Glow-Up Activation Session HERE. You can turn your story around with ONE decision.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Transcript

Mary Wagstaff: 0:02

Music. Welcome to stop drinking and start living the feminine way. I'm your hostess. Mary Wagstaff, holistic alcohol coach and feminine embodiment guide here to help you effortlessly release alcohol by reclaiming your feminine essence. Sobriety isn't just about quitting drinking, it's about removing the distortions that keep you disconnected, overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of numbing. Each week, I'll share powerful tools, new perspectives that transform and deeply relatable stories to help you step into the power pleasure and purpose that it is to be a woman. This is your next evolution of awakened empowerment. Welcome to the feminine. Way back to the show. My beautiful listeners, if you're here and you're new, welcome if you're here and you're back, yes. Thank you so much for being here. I just wanted to share what is really present for me right now. It's the beginning of March 2025, and it has been just a beautiful week. And as a lot of you know, my family and I bought a farm in the Columbia Gorge in Oregon, and we have a 90 foot hoop house greenhouse where we planted spring bulbs, and we're gonna fill it with flowers. And we literally had to open it up because it was 90 degrees and humid. There was daffodils blooming. We have been making our own seed planting soil. We're learning everything from scratch. And the reason I tell you this, and so there's just this aliveness, and there's also this, you know, for five and a half years, I've been so steeped in an online business, in an online world, and I'm I'm really figuring out how to merge the two, because the work that I do here is so near and dear to my heart, and working with women and helping them really see what is calling them right like be in what is Calling you right now, and the chances if you're here, there is another version of your life, some another focus that you are being called to. And there is resistance. So I have had so much resistance to to to figuring out, okay, how am I going to go from this life that I know of you know, being behind my computer five days a week and going out into the farm, which is really what I want, and how do I merge the two? Because, you know, the vision is to bring people here teach them, and to also keep teaching you my the lessons that I'm learning that come through the lens of mindfulness and that really come through the lens of the feminine way, and what is available to me as I've released alcohol, but really, what's on the other side of that? And alcohol wasn't always a problem for you, and I don't think that that's because, you know, alcohol is just not a problem for some people. You're just at a different phase in your life. So changing your relationship to alcohol is what's being called to you. Of you in front of you for a reason, and the reason we have so much resistance to it is a couple of reasons. Yes, it's addictive, but it is part of our identity. And so for me to switch, and I'm still very much, you know, coaching people online and in my private coaching mentorship, and I absolutely love that. But for me to loosen, loosen the the grip on that a little bit to how that looks, because there is this different expression coming through of what I taught at the beginning, what was really fresh for me when I, you know, was new in my own sobriety, really, and what is really present for me now. And how can I teach through my passion? How can I teach through what's really alive for me and my creativity that's that's here now, and I've said this for so many years, and I probably heard it from someone, is that the work is what's right in front of you? Right? We have all of these ideas of what we want to do. And I mean, I'm still working on my book diligently,

Unknown: 4:09

but what I feel like is is

Mary Wagstaff: 4:12

the divine, and I'm co creating with God. God is the divine has really opened up my schedule and opened up my life in a way that I can it's spring. We have to get we're sprouting with flowers, right? We have to get those in the ground. And this whole season is going to be a year of curiosity and observation, just like it was for me when I was new and sobriety, and just like I want it to be for you. And so what I want you to take away the vibe for this month. And if you're getting this, you're getting this, you will, if you're getting this live, you will be getting it on the first day of Lent. And whether or not you celebrate Lent, the idea of 40 days, and I've talked about a 40 day challenge before, is such a beautiful opportunity to say, to step into a place not of trying to figure. It out, but of finding out, what if I just loosen the grip a little bit and stay open to possibility? So if I loosen the grip a little bit on the way I've always done my marketing, on being online, on sending a million emails, right? What if I just loosen the grip on that and step into my own pleasure, into what's right in front of me right now and just find out, right? But the idea of, let what's really, what's also really serendipitous about this time is there is also what's happening in the stars, is Venus retrograde. And Venus retrograde is usually only 40 days, but it happens to be 43 days, and if you minus the three days, I believe it would be 40 days, starting from lent all the way until the end of it. And what this is, is when Venus is shifting from her phase of the evening star to the Morning Star, so she goes into this like retrograde period, where she starts to have her transformation. There is a transfiguration, if you will. And if we look at the story of Jesus and going into the desert to fast for 40 days and 40 nights, it was to empty Himself, right? So we have to empty ourselves of the way we thought it should be and really just find out the way that it is right the way that it is right here, right now in front of us. Because right what's right here right now in front of you is what you are being called to. And I do truly believe that we, if we show up for what's being called, we will be given the necessary tools and teachings and new awarenesses and perspectives that we need to make it through. And so the question is, what's the worst case scenario? What is if you really asked yourself, what's the worst case scenario that happens tonight, if I don't have a drink, if I loosen my grip on this relationship, if I decide, you know, to take a fast from being online, to take a break from coffee, which is something in my life I've been examining, because just like alcohol and sobriety and anything that we do, it really can cut become progressive. It's like compounding. And what I found with coffee, and this is just a little bit of a side note, is that sometimes I don't even ask myself the question, it's just like the same as alcohol. It's in these transitional moments. Now, of course, it doesn't have the detrimental effect. However, there are things about being in my feminine about not being edgy, my digestion, just being in a relaxed, calm, receptive place, instead of forward facing, like there's this always like energy, like active energy behind me, that I can, I can lean back and receive the benefits. And that is that curiosity. And so not only is that a mindset, but I've actually been experimenting with this amazing, little, tiny magical elixir called Magic mind. And it is a mental performance shot that is delicious. So it's this tiny little drink, and it really gives you that calm energy, that focused energy, but with the lower stress, it's like clean energy, and it's something that I wanted to share with you, because I believe for women that are busy, that have a full plate, we sometimes are running with a little Bit of a lower cognitive battery. And this has ashwagandha, turmeric, Lion's Mane, all sorts of different types of mushrooms, B, vitamins C and D, which is so important for our immunity. And it does have a tiny bit of caffeine. So it's a nootropic, an adaptogen, all in one. And just for listening to the show magic mind actually gave me a discount code that you guys can use for your first purchase of 20% off. And the link is in the show notes. It's magic mind.com/mary W 20. I really hope that you try it out, and I would absolutely love to hear how it works for you. So from my perspective, when we ask, right, what's the worst that can happen if I don't have a cup of coffee? Well, nothing. Maybe I have to feel a sensation in my body. But what's the worst that can happen if I never try? And that's the question that I really, really want you to ask yourself, What is the worst that can happen if I never try and I never know, because FOMO isn't real when you've already experienced something, right? So for me, with. Alcohol with coffee, with whatever like. I know what my life is like. I don't know what my life is like with magic mind. I don't know what my life is like when I really step into my feminine of calming my nervous system, instead of thinking, Oh, this is actually the signal that I need more caffeine, right? And so this is the question, FOMO is actually a lie. FOMO, the fear of missing out when it comes to alcohol, or the thing that's calling you to change, is not actually true. So I would absolutely encourage and invite you to just say, what's the one thing in front of me that's calling me and think about all of this support that you have behind you. It is spring renewal. So we're we're leaving the winter phase. The Spring Equinox is on March 20 here in the northern hemisphere. And if you're in the southern hemisphere, then you're also going to be having the shift into to the Fall Equinox. And this is equal day and equal night. And so it's a beautiful opportunity to take a pause and look at really where things are out of balance. And if we loosen our grip, if we take a step back, if we give ourselves the space, the luxurious space, and step into this beautiful care of ourselves.

Unknown: 11:27

How

Mary Wagstaff: 11:30

can we come into more balance? I would absolutely love to hear what's calling you right now and why that's the bigger question we have to ask ourselves, so if, if the release of alcohol is what is in front of you right now? Why? What is there? What is underneath that? And I wrote this post on my Instagram about it was kind of a trend of I had coffee with my younger self, and the question that I asked when I shared it in my stories is, if you showed up for your younger self, how would you choose differently? Because you weren't always a drinker, right? The drinking became progressive, and there's been so much piled on top of you that we don't want to try to figure it out by letting go. What we want to do is make space to see what naturally wants to come through. And that takes a step back to just finding out. If I loosen my grip on trying to figure out alcohol, if I loosen my grip on that my business needs to look how it looked for the last five years, and I can step into this beautiful opportunity of this farm in front of me. How is that going to be the way that I connect with the women that I'm inviting into my space? Right? And this, it this takes not figuring it out. It takes clearing emptying. But it doesn't mean have to mean that it's not working right. It just means that it's a moment in time that it's a sacred pause of reflection. So this is the invitation to you, my beautiful listener, and know that I will be supporting you. I talk to my family about maybe us doing something together for Lent, but I also have something that was very much called to me, because one of the things about my caffeine consumption is sometimes right first thing in the morning. I mean, I have my vitamins and I have my water, but there's many mornings that I get distracted with taking my vitamins or my supplements or getting my coffee ready. And so one of the things that I've been really focused on is asking the question about my caffeine consumption. You know, do I need this right now, and why? And is it just a habit? And so when I asked, what is the practice that I need to tap into for Lent? What do I need to release? It was a focus on doing anything else in the morning besides moving from my bed to my cushion, in being in devotional prayer, being in my devotional silence, with my beads or with whatever I'm doing. So this is an opportunity for you to be in this silent contemplation with yourself and not need to express this to anyone but the relationship between you, your inner child, your Higher Self, God, the divine, and know that you are being supported in the figuring it out, and I'll just leave you with this one last thing, oftentimes, for us to surrender, for us just to find out, instead of figuring it out, we have to understand, we have to understand our resources and that we're safe enough to do that. So if there's something. It comes up for you that says I'm not safe enough to do this right now. I'm not safe enough just to release and let go. And that is how I felt about my coaching business and the farm and I but every time I was having resistance, I I was acting in a way where it wasn't flowing right. There was this block. It was like I would just keep out pounding and hitting this wall. And it didn't feel authentic, and it didn't feel right. And so I had to ask myself, Okay, well, what are my resources? How can I loosen my grip? And I had to look at what that was for myself, financially, time wise, with Matthew, conversations that we had and and then with my own internal practice of devotion. So find out what that is for you, and prove to yourself that for the next 40 days, you can release right? You can loosen your grip and just find out what happens on the other side, instead of focusing on this hypothetical, worst case scenario. Have a beautiful day, and I will talk to you next Week. You