Digging Deep, Taking The Descent, Living In Breakthrough

The question isn't will I drink or not. The question is will I FEEL ALIVE? 

 In this episode, I share my personal breakthrough and how we live in cycles of transformation. I give you the exact thought you need to dig deep and emerge brighter than ever. 

What I Dive Into:

• My Breakthrough: How I discovered that true change wasn’t about quitting drinking—it was about reclaiming my inner light and feminine essence.
• Digging Deep: I reveal the intimate process of mining for your life force and transforming pain into power.
• Life & Motherhood: I open up about how motherhood and personal challenges ignited a powerful shift in my perspective.
• Living Fully: I share real, relatable stories and simple, heartfelt tools to help you embrace a life bursting with energy and authenticity.

If you’re ready to stop drinking and start living the feminine way, join me as I celebrate every layer of being a woman. 

Don’t miss out on my free guide—“The Six Cheat Phrases to Calm the Urge to Drink and End the Inner Battle”—to help you transform your inner dialogue and reclaim your spark.

It's time to GLOW-UP and just in time for the warm weather. Shake off the stagnant, stuck energy and activate your aliveness. Book a Sober Glow-Up Activation Session HERE. You can turn your story around with ONE decision.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Transcript

Mary Wagstaff: 0:02

Music. Welcome to stop drinking and start living the feminine way. I'm your hostess. Mary Wagstaff, holistic alcohol coach and feminine embodiment guide here to help you effortlessly release alcohol by reclaiming your feminine essence. Sobriety isn't just about quitting drinking, it's about removing the distortions that keep you disconnected, overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of numbing. Each week, I'll share powerful tools, new perspectives that transform and deeply relatable stories to help you step into the power pleasure and purpose that it is to be a woman. This is your next evolution of awakened empowerment. Welcome to the feminine way. Oh, my beautiful listeners. Oh my gosh, I'm so thrilled to be here. This is gonna be short, but sweet. I'm gonna come at you live more often, because I've got a lot to say, and I really, really have had such a huge breakthrough moment in the last week, literally, the last week. It's just like, amazing how you can be searching outside of yourself for something to change, and it's like been right in front of you the entire time. And so what I want to talk today about is digging deep. Digging deep is mining for your spark, for your life force. And this is like a full disclosure moment, because, like, I have created a relationship with you and everyone you know, the new people that come, if they go back and listen, it's like I am developing a relationship with you. Of course, this is an intimate I believe that this is an intimate circle of women where I am here to share my first hand, embodied experience and to be an example of what life after a really long relationship with alcohol looks like, where you don't have to be what I call a sober cheerleader, where you can can become more of yourself, right? The alcohol is keeping you from this authentic version, and I always say it's time to throw a better party. And so when I finally flipped the switch on alcohol, I did it by digging deep. I did it by really holding the vision of the life I wanted. And my son was a catalyst for that, and, you know, and your children might be a catalyst for that, or your grandchildren. And and I didn't have I was, you know, not old, but older for, you know, mothering. I was 34 when Emmett was born, and it was a very intentional decision. I didn't think I was gonna ever have children. I didn't think I wanted children. I didn't think motherhood was for me. I actually didn't get my period for like, three or four years when I was in college because of my eating issues, like my body just was like, Nope, you're not, you know, you don't have enough to carry a life. My grandma always told me, like, I didn't think you were ever gonna be able to have a baby. And I was like, Why didn't someone intervene? Right? But that's for another podcast. So when I saw him, and I saw how much he was reflecting everything, he was just soaking up. He was a sponge of everything I was doing. And then, you know, even some of the behavior that I'm not proud of that took place in front of our stepson, and my stepson and and then Emmett, when he was born, it really amplified the spark inside of me. And we all have a life force, right? We all, if you're here, you're breathing, and so we have to dig deep to find that life force. And this is the descent. This isn't always this isn't going to feel great, but what it does is it helps you know you are alive, and alcohol is such low hanging fruit compared to the aliveness that you feel when you let yourself be authentic. Okay, so what happened was I was able to really hold the vision for the life I wanted. But that required doing something different. It required me putting myself into new spaces and new environments. So if you want to create a change in your life, you have to create a catalyst. You have to create energy. You have to create an Ignite a spark. This isn't an alchemical process. It is a it is a transformation on such a cellular level, I can't tell you, I have literally felt like this recalibration at times of my cells like that, there's been an epigenetic shift of releasing alcohol from. Cells, and that requires energy, that requires you to go into the descent, to be willing to look at it, to find that spark and to ignite it, to create transformation. And this is what you've been doing your entire life. Chances are you are a generational, what I call a generational game changer, right? You have done it different. You have been questioning the way that it's been done. And if you haven't been you can still do that now. You are the catalyst in your family for change. All women that I know really run the energetic show in their lives. We are so, so powerful. So what's happened? As I like life literally, was over pouring out of me, my cognitive abilities when I release alcohol and so much stagnant energy, I just and started hula hooping and doing and touching, getting in touch with my feminine. There we are energy. We can't deny that everything is energy. You are full of water, you are full of vibration, you are a sound, you are light. And so that was just swirling and spiraling out of me. And it was like I I still have so many ideas, and I still have all of that life force, but for like, the alcohol piece, like the sobriety piece, I got further and further away from it right now. So in some ways, and then when my life, my own personal life, and this is just what I'm here to share, like I I'm always showing up 100% for the belief that I have in my clients and for the vision that they have for themselves, but when my life happened, and I needed to be there, because I was at this next pivotal breakthrough. And so this is what happens when you are a woman that seeks transformation and you dig deep, we go into spirals and cycles of breakthrough. So I would say I had like a four year cycle of living in Britain, like living the breakthrough of my alcohol freedom. And I started a business, the business that I always dreamed of. And I started be being a speaker and more and facilitating more, and putting myself out there more and being the leader in my life that you know, I know my my astrology and my human design, and is like this meant for me, right? And not everyone. Everyone is a leader in their own life, but it just looks different, like I'm just a natural teacher. And so that's what it was for me, and I was seeing it, and it was so inspiring, and it is still so inspiring, but life happened, and now there's all these other choices and these things in front of me, and what, why I took a break from the podcast, was I, I what I believed without, you know, doing necessarily, my decision making protocol was that I didn't. I was like, I don't have anything left to say about alcohol and the truth is, is that's completely not true. I have so many things to say about alcohol and the life available to you on the other side, and what I know where I'm at right now is that I am at I have been, and I was the last 18 months at this next phase of a breakthrough, but I wasn't willing to give up on myself, right? And it's been hard, like I've had depression and I've had anxiety and I've had confusion and I've got coaching, but I still showed up because there was no quitting. Has is no longer a choice. Alcohol was never a choice. So on the other side of that breakthrough for alcohol, it's like you get to meet yourself again and again and again and again, and you get to hold the vision, the new vision that I have for myself, which is continuing to inspire women to grow into their their fullest expression of their authentic authenticity, through their feminine, through receiving right which is really the work that I'm doing right now, is receiving, relaxing, allowing being in the big vision of my life, which is growing this farm, which is hosting retreats, which is hosting gatherings, which is having all of you come and stay with me at some point, 100% on this piece of property, while continuing to ignite inside of you. Why alcohol is has just got to go right, but from the most positive place, not because alcohol is dulling and robbing you of your life force. That doesn't feel good. When I say that alcohol is robbing me of my life force, no, right? The other side of that is, I'm releasing alcohol in honor of my life, right? But you have to dig deep to know what that is for you, because alcohol is taking, robbing my life force doesn't create a it doesn't create, inspire. Inspiration. It kind of makes you feel like shit. You actually feel like, Oh, gosh. I just watched a movie where there was this woman. It was like, the the Beetlejuice. The Beetlejuice sequel. Okay, I was just gonna side note, huge Beetlejuice fan. We watched Beetlejuice so much when we were kids and and, you know, I couldn't watch it with Emmett because it's just too scary. So Matthew and I, we don't watch many movies, but we had a date night, and we're like, let's watch Beetlejuice. It was insane. They took so many creative liberties. It was so much fun, though. There was five different storylines going on ever all the care. Like all of the actors that showed up from the first one were amazing. It was just nuts. It was completely nuts, but there was this woman in it, and I feel like this is in some other maybe, like Harry Potter or something, where she was the soul sucker, and she just would suck, right, like, suck the soul out of someone. And that's what I think about when I think about, like, alcohols robbing me of my life force. And although that's true, like it doesn't create it doesn't help you dig deep to find that spark. It actually it's like throwing ashes on your spark, or, you know, throwing dust on the spark. It's like when they say it at the ranger station, dead out, right? Put all your fire dead out. So what we want to find, what you need to find for yourself is dig deep. And one of the thoughts that I'll give to you is that's not why I'm here, right? I'm not here to dull my light. I'm not here for the like crumbs of alcohol, right? And so for me, in this moment, in this recent moment, and I've had so much coaching lately, and so much coaching for myself and having to dig deep of like, why I'm here? I am here to throw a better mother effin party, right? And I hope that you will join me for every like, not just in light of alcohol, but in light of being a woman, right? Like there is this vitality that is available to us through our pain, through our sorrow, through our rage, through our grief, through our joy, through our pleasure, through our orgasm, through having babies, through having a beautiful partner that cares for us and wants to make us happy, through caring for other people, right? But it's all become so heavy, and it's all become such a burden, and all that's required is for you to literally turn the other direction, like the thought that you're thinking that feels so heavy and so burdensome and the story that you keep telling yourself, all you need to do is turn the other direction and tell yourself the opposite of that story and find The the thread of unconditional love, right? But it Your participation is required, right? So it's like this isn't a question of whether or not I drink. This is a question of whether or not I want to feel alive, whether or not I want to just feel right. Feeling is the sign that you're alive, and so take this with you. Dig deep this week. Find that spark for you, and find what is the opposite of alcohol is sucking out my life force, right? And find what that statement is for you and the you can borrow my thought, which is, that's not why I'm here. And then answer that question, why are you here in an existential way and a purpose driven way, in a way that I am here to always be here for my children. I am here to create a beautiful family. I am here to be available to God, to my community, right? I am here to just be alive and ask yourself, what does that mean to you? Because being alive isn't just happy, right? Like we it's like, just get over the fact that you're gonna feel like crap sometimes. Okay, so show up, dig deep, honor your commitment to yourself, and fall in love, madly in love. Oh my gosh, with the layers, the depth that it is to be a woman. We are so freaking multi faceted. We are just like spirals of juicy light, like here and there, and I like, I can make a decision this morning and then just be like, change my mind in two seconds and feel it in my body right now, there's some consistency, and we can find the you know, we can find the direction the lighthouse. But allow yourself, give yourself permission to be a woman in her full glory and her full pleasure this week, and just love it and melt into it. I dare you, if you are ready to embrace the feminine way in your life and release alcohol effortlessly, I want to teach you how to talk to yourself when you are alone. This is the hardest yet most impactful piece of the process. Download. My free guide, the six cheap phrases to calm the urge to drink and end the inner battle, you'll discover how to find relief for any urge or emotion without deprivation. Visit Mary Wagstaff coach.com/urge tracking to get your free guide today, or follow the link right here in the show notes. You.