Stop Drinking and Start Living- The Feminine Way

Marianne’s Final Breakthrough: How She Stopped Disappearing & Stepped Fully Into Her Life (3 of 3)

• Mary Wagstaff

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“If I don’t stop disappearing from my higher self, I’ll never live the life I want.”

This is it—the final part of the most transformational story shared on this podcast. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 and Part 2, go back and commit to hearing the full journey.

This is the most valuable case study in not just quitting drinking, but in stepping into self-trust, personal power, and an entirely new way of living.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  •  The single most important decision that changed everything for Marianne
  •  Why the real problem wasn’t alcohol—but disappearing from herself
  •  How she stopped looking for an escape and started facing her emotions head-on
  •  The importance of safety in transformation (and how to create it for yourself)
  •  What it actually means to reclaim your power and embody self-trust

Why This Episode is Different
This isn’t about “willpower” or just stopping drinking. It’s about awakening to yourself. It’s about getting to the other side of emotional overwhelm, self-doubt, and feeling lost in your own life.

Marianne’s story is proof that when you commit to truly seeing yourself and stepping out of old patterns, you don’t just quit drinking—you transform into the woman you were always meant to be.

Listen and Apply
Where in your life are you disappearing from yourself?
What emotions are you afraid to face?
What if you stopped waiting and stepped fully into the life that’s meant for you?

Tune in now, and don’t miss Marianne’s final message to you—it’s exactly what you need to hear.

- If you’re ready to stop disappearing and start fully living, book a free call here:.

Quitting Drinking Doesn’t Have To Be Disappointing, Boring & Exhausting, It Should Make You Feel ALIVE Again. You came here to play full out. Learn more about this private deep dive session that will awaken your life force and connect you to the vitality you need to hold space for your big vision!

Follow the link Here!

It's time to GLOW-UP and just in time for the warm weather. Shake off the stagnant, stuck energy and activate your aliveness. Book a Sober Glow-Up Activation Session HERE. You can turn your story around with ONE decision.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Unknown:

The immediate need for me when we started working together was I want to not drink. I need accountability. And the reason I don't want to drink is because there are going to be so many emotions in the next year that if I need to drown my emotions, I'm going to be really sick at the end of it. Yeah, because there's going to be too many emotions that I need to drown. So I better just stop the thought of even needing to drown one and learn to look at them and learn to navigate them. And I don't know where I got that presence of mind, Mary, but I got that person

Mary Wagstaff:

came. Welcome to stop drinking and start living the feminine way. I'm your hostess. Mary Wagstaff, holistic alcohol coach and feminine embodiment guide here to help you effortlessly release alcohol by reclaiming your feminine essence. Sobriety isn't just about quitting drinking. It's about removing the distortions that keep you disconnected, overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of numbing. Each week, I'll share powerful tools, new perspectives that transform and deeply relatable stories to help you step into the power pleasure and purpose that it is to be a woman. This is your next evolution of awakened empowerment. Welcome to the feminine way. So here we are at our final installment of the journey of Mary Ann to to really living the life that she knows that she was meant to live. And if you haven't listened to the first two pieces of this, please listen to every single minute. Don't stop short, because there's so much wisdom in it, in her stories, in the way that she's showing up for herself, and the way that that becoming a non drinker and the the in the commitment she made to herself is impacting her life and her really, really uncovering and being able to trust her intuition that she knew even before she finally, you know, released alcohol, but listen all the way to the end. There's so much wisdom for you to take away with this. And she articulates so beautifully what our time together was able to do for her that she hadn't been able to find in another situation. And I think it's really important to hear that so that you know what you're looking for in the world and how you can create the safety and the support that you need, whether it's, you know, coaching with me, or any other container, it's like you want to know what you're looking for. You want to know what that can feel like, and needs to feel like in order for you to make a commitment to yourself. That doesn't feel like you're missing out, but feels like, Oh, this is the life that I was meant to live, and she's got a special message for you at the end, so make sure to stay tuned. Enjoy.

Unknown:

I did it to find myself. I did it to reconnect to myself and and to drop that that that, that other voice in the back that was saying, Don't worry, at the end of the day, you can have a glass of wine. You know, I would come home from a phenomenal walk with my dogs, go to the store, get a beautiful salad, tuna and the whole thing, get home and open up a bottle of wine. And like all those, you know, five or 10 miles would just walk, when I look back, like, Why did I need a glass of wine after that? You know, because I didn't know how to be alone with myself. Because I didn't, because I was suffering. Not not being attuned. I was so I didn't know how to look at my thoughts and say, You don't have to think this thought. That thought doesn't serve you. You can change your thought to a new thought, and your all of your thoughts can serve and that's what we did. We made it so that I can, I can access thoughts to serve me at any given and that's a strength. That's a superpower.

Mary Wagstaff:

It's a superpower because it has impacted everything, changed everything. Well, when you said this, I didn't know how to be alone with myself. And this is something I want to talk a lot about on the this. You know, version of the show is solitude, the importance of solitude and being inside and being in silence. That's not this. Deafening rumble in your head, but that's like you started the show saying, this is peace, right? Like that that you can find this peace within, and that preoccupation between this is bothering me, but this is also the solution that is just, it's exhausting,

Unknown:

but you know what the end of it? The end result is, is intense, knowing that I'm safe, always safe with myself. I'm safe with myself. I can count on myself so and no matter what, and no matter what. And, you know, I know I started out with the the story of my neighbor, but I used to just those kinds of things could rumble through me for four or five days, you know, and now, you know, now I can actually access a place to be helpful to some other person instead of, you know, have have her emotion running around in me, or have my partner's emotion running around and that's, that's what I really gained, because I live with someone who's who went through this fire situation highly emotional, and it just I, I had no I, I didn't have the skills to keep that from drawing me in. And I went through the whole thing in a much higher emotional level than I, than I'm proud of, and but I don't know, Mary, we'd have to look back at the calendar. But, you know, we've, we've been here 10 months. And I, I don't, I think the emotion has, you know, gone from like 1,000% to, you know, occasionally I can hit a 10 or or 75 worst, you know, and you know, I, I, it was enough reason to to look at what is alcohol doing to me that is making me not able to feel calm and not able to have that? I mean, I've read enough books. I read Michael singer, I've read all the great ones, Neil, Donald, Walsh, everybody, and I still couldn't access that inner sense of knowing that I was in control of my thinking, and I will, and I will always be in control of my thinking. Now, you know, I didn't even know it was possible, as much as I heard it and read it and participated in, you know, seminars and webinars, and I didn't fully absorb it and and working with you, I did, and I it's like, you know, the proverbial butterfly coming out of the chrysalis, so beautiful.

Mary Wagstaff:

Well, that's the embodiment. And we had talked about that a little bit recently, right? And you want to be more embodied. And I'm like, we were, like, you both said it too. I think you're already there, no, and that's, what Gnosis is. And we went I mentioned this last week, it's we can't know something unless you experience it yourself. We can hear all of the stories. We can study it as much as we want, but until it is a felt, lived experience, and you have that embodied sense of Spirit coming through you, alive through you, and you feel that transformation. You can witness yourself slowing down time, where you could see I could go that way, or I could go this way, and you can see it happening, and you choose not to. And if you do, choose to go the old way, you give yourself grace,

Unknown:

yes, and you come back. You know, something just popped into my head. I had a conversation with my brother the other day, and I and I had said something to him that set him off and and that was like, two weeks ago. And so he we talked. We were talking again, and I said something, and he brought back the fact that I had set him off two weeks ago, and I said, I've never said this before. I said, we went through this already. I have apologized. I have accepted responsibility for what I said. I I didn't mean to. To set you off, you know, but that was then. That's not what I'm doing now, and I don't need you to relive all of that on any emotional level and drag drag us into that old story. I said, let's move on and be peaceful together. Never in a million years did I have that. And he agreed right away, because I said it very lovingly and I didn't scold him, I didn't bigger or better than him. And, and he said, Okay, you're right. Let's Let's go, yeah, and, and I have dif I have five siblings, and I'm a different relationship with every one of them. And and most of, most of it's been, you know, fireworks. My whole upbringing, you know, we had a very, you know, explosive family. Everything was a big conversation, and so I was probably why I get so wrapped up into somebody's drama so quickly and and I it was so cool to watch myself have that a just the presence of mind, because I could have thought of that later, or I could have wished I said, But, or I could have just waited until he was done, but instead, I said, No, I this is not how you're going. Just I won't be scolded again. You know, I don't need to be scolded again. I let you spoke me before because you were under so much stress, and I took responsibility for it and my part, but I don't need to do it again. And that's another superpower, frankly, you know, to not get wrapped pulled in to the drama of others. And I think that happens a lot in people's lives, and I think it's a lot of, there's a lot of stress and reason to drink, you know, that would have been a reason to drink, right? Yeah, it really would have been, go ahead? No, it would have been, you know, it's funny because I didn't think of that until just a second, but it would have been a reason for me to hang up the phone and pour a glass of wine. Yeah.

Mary Wagstaff:

Well, it's like the bridge from any to any emotion. I just want to ask you a couple couple things, but I do want to, I just think this is a good point to point out to our listeners, because you had said something earlier about your beloved, dear partner and about something about how he was protecting that thought, right? And how much do we do that? And the same with your brother. It's like we're and Michael singer talks about this. It's like you're holding on to the things that bother you the most, why it already happened. And just so, like, as a little side note to our people that are listening today, it's like, you can just set that down. It's the past. It's over, right? So we protect these things, we control them. And you know why? The difference between where you are now? And, I mean, you said it, it's it's that you've taken responsibility for your thoughts. But why do we latch on so much to other people's emotions and get involved and like, What is your perspective of why we do that? I mean, there, you know, there's got to be a reason. I have a thought about it, but,

Unknown:

well, it's habitual, for one it's another addiction, right? 100% Yeah, yeah, um, and in a family, it's a whole family dynamic,

Mary Wagstaff:

wow, yeah, that's just how we do it, yeah,

Unknown:

my brother, my sister once said to me, you guys play off each other, yeah, you know, more than other people played off each other and in the family. And I kind of laughed because I thought, well, that's not true. You should see yourself, but um, but, but um, and it's just in a different way. Yeah, she just has a different way of or getting along or not getting along, but it's there is something about protecting that the vulnerability of ourselves, when you're in another person, when you're listening to another person's emotions, you're you're kind of getting drawn in, and then you have to protect and, and, and, and so you you get all, get all wounded again. It's kind of like, you know, but we're like, a big it's like, I said, it's an addiction. We almost meet. Feel like we need to be wounded just to continue to breathe, because it's such a strong addiction. Yeah, right, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, when you come home from work and you tell your spouse that your boss is an idiot and blah, blah, blah, and she and he and they did this and they did that. It's so common, yeah, if you took self responsibility and you said, How did I, how did I participate in this misunderstanding, that's why, like, I didn't really do anything to my brother. I just said something that set him off, but he's the one who got set off. He's the one responsible for being set off. But I couldn't say, I'm not going to say that to him to set them up again. I just said, I'm really sorry. I I'm sorry I said that. And so, you know, because now I try to quiet the upset instead of not even knowing how, because I didn't ever want to be the upset, but I didn't know what to do about upset, right? You know, we all, most people don't, because we revert back to inner child behavior. You know, go back to when we were, you know, three or four or five and we'd become dysregulated, yep. And, I mean, there are lots of scientists that say psychologists that say, you know, you're basically the same person you were when you were three, four or five years old. Because we don't, we stopped growing at a certain point emotionally. I mean, I still think I'm 30 years old, right? Somewhere in the in our brains we stop changing, you know, and then the world looks the same as when we were 30. And then when the 30 year old looks at us and we're 60, you know, you realize how much you're not 30 anymore. You know, it's kind of funny, but the brain is such a habitual Yeah, or a habitual thinker, you know, the and so you have to learn, at least. That's my perspective now, and it was my inclination by because I was such a self help addict for decades. You know, my brother, same brother, once said to me, with all those self help, self help books that you read, how come you're still the same person?

Mary Wagstaff:

Well, and that's the thing, it takes time evolution, awakening. Awakening takes time and when we're so identified, and this is why safety is so important, because I think that that habitual response of getting involved in other people's drama and all that stuff and or even just complaining like that, of like, you know, I mean, I know I got a couple things that I complain about. It's like, there's this, and it really is irresponsible. It's like taking someone else's energy, and when you start to see that, well, there's a few things. There's a dopamine response. We don't take personal responsibility for or we take it too personally. So by you acknowledging your brother, like, even if you're not in the quote, unquote wrong, you're willing to say, like, this isn't even about me, so yeah, I can apologize, right? Because we practice prayer and come and being humbled, right? Yeah, yeah. And it's like, who cares? Like, let's just move on. What's the you know, do I want? Like Brooke Castillo would always say, like, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? You know? It's like, Come on, we have bigger fish to fry. And like, there's this beautiful heaven right outside our doors. Like, what do we want to spend our time with? So it is habitual, and I think for women, especially that we have gotten addicted to being in fight or flight, and so much of it has been a necessity. Matthew was just telling me about this book. He was reading about like 100 you know, 100 years ago how women husbands used to be able to commit their wives without their permission, right? So there was this need to fight for our sovereignty, but we're still doing it, and we don't really need to be right where we can take back and reclaim that essence. And so there's no shame or blame, because so many women have had to sacrifice to get to where we are, to stand up for their rights and to stand up for freedom, but no one's committing us anymore. We're doing that to ourselves now, and it really is the opportunity for us to support one another, as women, as humans and and really take this responsibility and give ourselves permission to to not need to be in that state of fight or flight. So we can receive the gift of being of the feminine. We can receive the pleasure that it is to be a woman and and be in our creative power and all of these things and apologize and turn the other cheek and be a caregiver and all these things that were innately really beautiful at instead of being resentful about it all the time. And so I really see that this is, you know, what you have really transformed into doing is, like, the things that can be such a gift be can become such a resentment, depending on how you're looking at it, you know, and then if your thoughts.

Unknown:

Are out of control, and your emotions are all over the place, and it's like, forget about it. Give you a drink. Yeah, no. Well, you're you don't have access to any of this. If you're drinking, yeah, it's just right. You just don't Yeah, and, and, and even if you're drinking intermittently, like I was it, there's, there's just no continuity, and there's no real, real continuity to the growth that you're seeking. And that was evident, and you know, to to really, to really congeal all of the principles and the lessons and the thoughts into a practice of living, into a into a higher value, sense of self, conduct. It needed to be alcohol free. It just did. Yeah, yeah.

Mary Wagstaff:

Well, and that's the thing for so many people. You know, I hear people like, how could I, you know, why am I still doing this? I I have everything. I have this beautiful life. Like, why am I drinking? Why? You know, and, and really, that's the sign that, yes, you can see logically, you have, you have this life, this beautiful life you've created, but it's how you're responding to it. It's how you're thinking about it. And alcohol has kind of been this escape patch, if you will, you know, and something I would love for you just to touch on briefly, and then, and then I we can wrap up. But so many women, you know, one of the other, the piece is, is freedom, is this kind of is is celebration, is party? Is this saw like time for solitude, where they feel safe using alcohol. So what has been your relationship to being in a celebratory place, or, you know, excitement and ways that you used to drink, you know, during maybe some of those times, and how that is for you now that you're not drinking, but you're still, you know, maybe engaging in social things and and celebrating life.

Unknown:

It's funny because very seldom do I even think about it. I I also remember times that I embarrassed myself drinking and saying the wrong thing and and, you know, I can remember Thanksgivings that didn't end well because we were all drinking together as sibling, you Know. But now I, I find so much value in the moments with my siblings like that I didn't see before, and with my family and with my partner's family that I didn't see before because I thought I needed to guard myself from the experience of being with them by drinking, and now I just go in and I'm like, and inside of myself, I'm thinking, Well, I'm a new person, like you don't even know who I am, because we've all been drinking together for 40 years and So and I think they all trust me more because they they don't see me show up with my husband, you know, with three bottles of wine that we drink ourselves to the party, you know? And it's just it's more, way more pleasant to be around the children and see them for, for the magical little beings that they are and and, you know, his his grandchildren. And it's just clear, it's, it's um, unmasked by anticipation of something like going to Thanksgiving dinner was a source of stress. Going to Christmas was a source of stress. Like, how am I going to be perceived? And, you know, I didn't do the whole marriage, family, children, life, that they all did, and so it, I always felt like the oddball, and so, but now I now I'm just myself and I'm and I'm actually someone that they can seek for reasoning. You know, yeah, really, here they they can come to me and be heard and not be spoken to, but but listened to. I, I So, I know that's a long answer to your question.

Mary Wagstaff:

No, it's beautiful. And what I what I'm pulling out from it, and this is the. Know when we when we're not on the other side of alcohol. There's all of these thoughts that that get in the way. But when you are solving your life, you know you're solving for your life. You're taking personal responsibility that those hesitations, or those those preoccupations with like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do with this thing without alcohol? And how am I going to have fun? It solved it's like to me, what I'm hearing from you is it, it solved itself. And you were also able to a have more confidence and pride in the way you were showing up, but also you were really seeing the gifts of being present, and that was really fulfilling and very satisfying. And, you know, and being in social settings and being around other people. So that's the thing. When we're when we use alcohol, we're using alcohol to lower our inhibitions, so we're numbing and quieting the thoughts that are getting in the way of us enjoying ourselves. But when you see those thoughts, and you change those thoughts, and you change your beliefs, those are no longer there, so alcohol is just no longer required. And what is there is the present gift. That is what it is. And then you get to kind of choose, right? Maybe there's a situation, that's like, I actually don't really want to be here. This isn't for me, or it's not for me today, right? Or whatever it is. So you get to choose from a really empowered place, and that is what I think you were seeking. You know, when you decided to come coaching here, was like, I want to do this from an empowered place, from a place that's going to connect me with the truth of who I am, not needing to become something different or feeling like I'm, you know, groveling or taking a step backwards. It's the opposite.

Unknown:

Yeah, and I, I the immediate need for me when we started working together was I want to not drink. I need accountability. And the reason I don't want to drink is because there are going to be so many emotions in the next year that if I need to drown my emotions, I'm going to be really sick at the end of it, yeah, because there's going to be too many motions that I need to drown. So I better just stop the thought of even needing to drown one and learn to look at them and learn to navigate them. And I don't know where I got that presence of mind, Mary, but I got that presence and I saw and I sought the solution. And when you were talking a moment ago, I remember my wedding I went to that I remember, I don't remember the end of the night, and it was a very difficult event for you to attend, just emotionally and and I I never want to feel that way again. I never want to feel like that. There was a moment I don't remember, don't remember the end of the night, you know, because I was drowning my misery in over drinking, yeah, and, and I think that, had I not had that one experience, I might not have had the presence of mind about the house, you know, and, but I just knew and, and I knew I, I knew I just needed to be sober. I needed to, I needed to be on my playing my best game to get through it. The

Mary Wagstaff:

Insight is so powerful too, because often it's like, oh, when you know it's like the right time to start right and really, and this is why I always tell people about the holidays or or moments where you have a lot of emotions and so you know, you going in, you know, with this commitment, when you knew you were going to need the support, because there was going to be big emotions, it's like you expedited your resiliency, you know, you expedited the capacity of your resilience. Because we've gone through a lot, you know, there's been so much, I mean,

Unknown:

and

Mary Wagstaff:

it's, it's amazing to see you know how things could have turned out and how they did turn out. Of course, we don't know. But no, they could

Unknown:

have turned out completely differently. I could be, I could be, I would not be in this relationship. Still absolutely would not. Yeah, and, and it would that would have been a shame, yeah, yeah. And it would have been for the wrong reasons. Would have been all for the wrong reasons. And I was committed to that too. You know, this is my third significant relationship in my adult life. And I was like, oh my god, now there's a fire in front of me to to navigate. And. Now I'm going to be going to be single again, you know, like there were, there were other forces at, you know, at work, and I thought, if I don't stop drinking, if, if I don't, it wasn't even the drinking so much as it was the if I don't stop disappearing, yeah, from my higher self, really, yeah, stop disappearing from my higher self, I'm never going to live the way I want to live. And if I don't do it now, if I don't do it now, it's never going to happen, because this fire could burn me up. And, you know, I don't know if I ever told you this, but the day that the fire marshal brought me into the house, it was awful, and it was and and I, I walked in to this black space. It was totally black. My eyes were open, and I couldn't see anything, and it was completely dark in this basement where the fire started, and I was walking in with my shoes into this oranges of horrible water, and all I could see were these things flying right in front of my eyes. So I knew I was breathing in all this toxic air. And I thought, Why am I here? And I was there because I wanted him to tell because he was going to show me where the fire started, but I knew where the fire was starting, and he reached up into into the ceiling, and he said the fire started right here. And just as he reached up, sunlight came through the broken basement window and shown into the room and shown on on my partner's desk, and this, and this beautiful executive desk that was 1000s of dollars was just charcoal, but I could recognize it as the desk, and I took a picture with my cell phone camera, and I said, the Phoenix rises out of the fire. And that was the next day after saying, find the good in this. And that sunlight was the only thing I saw in that whole five minutes I was down, maybe not even five four minutes that I was down there and, and that's what this is. I am the Phoenix, yes, rose out of the fire of my of my discontented life, of my unregulated emotional life, and I'm and I'm here, you know, and it's and I, I'm not saying that the Phoenix is my symbol, but that moment, it was just so apparent that, yeah, that I had a choice. I could either be the Phoenix that rose out of the fire, or I could be the darkness in front of me. And, and that really was, it was very, very big moment. And, and shortly after, I said, I just have to stop thinking, yeah, such

Mary Wagstaff:

a really beautiful you should write about that. It's such an amazing image. Like, wow, thank you for sharing that. Because that that whole and I think so many of our listeners, I think all of our listeners, will resonate with this, this knowing, and you articulated it so beautifully that I'm disappearing from my higher self. And if I continue to do this because I felt the exact same way, I will never live the life that I want to live. Yeah, yeah. And it doesn't make you bad, it doesn't make you wrong. It just is a there's a crack in your heart, right? There will for me, there would have forever been this, knowing that there's something that I can't access as long as this is in the way.

Unknown:

Yeah, it makes me feel like sobbing right now, honestly, yeah, I'm so proud of you, because it's it was such a huge thing to overcome. And, and alcohol was the thing that was in the way at that time. But all the rest of my life, something else was in the way. So, so it was like, take this moment, take the alcohol out of the picture. And, and finally, finally, learn how to control your emotions, no crutches, no holds barred. Just get get tools to deal with your life in a really powerful way.

Mary Wagstaff:

Yeah, whoo. Oh my gosh. Okay. So now this has to be two episodes. Everyone has to hear all of this.

Unknown:

Mary Ann, tell your tell these

Mary Wagstaff:

beautiful women that are listening, who feel stuck, who maybe feel a little hopeless, and maybe it's not even about alcohol, like you said, maybe there's something else. Like, what do you want them to know? What are your closing words for them? Yeah.

Unknown:

It's already inside of you. It's already there. And somewhere along the way, you were told, or you learned to believe that it wasn't, and women especially are shamed often and are and we in our over serving others, because that's what we all tend to do, shortens or or make smaller our accessibility to ourselves, it minimizes our own accessibility, right? And so. So all of this is, is finding a way to access yourself, your higher self, and if it means giving up drinking, that means giving up candy and over eating whatever it means, because it's it, that's what addictions do. They block you from accessing, accessing what's already in there, because it's shame, right? Yeah, so when you learn to love yourself and forgive yourself for the past years of what's perceived failure. Instead of growing right, we don't tell ourselves we grew to this point. We tell ourselves we've failed all along the way. But when you get to that place and you really accept help and seek someone to work through this stuff with you, and you find the right person to trust. It's it's a game changer. It's a life changer. And I don't, I have the privilege of having worked with Mary now for two years. And, you know, I know she's not the only person I could have chosen, and there's plenty of other people who will create wonderful synergy, but Mary has the, has this unbelievable way of saying things to me that make me feel like I can say anything and not feel ashamed for having said it, or that's one and two is that she'll say something to me that makes me see it in a different way. And then another one is that she makes me, gives me words to talk back to myself with that helps me grow out of the way that I've been talking to myself. So there's never any shame, there's never any pain of of sitting in front of her, there's just trust, and there's just faith that every single conversation, I mean, I've never once gotten off a call with you Mary and felt like, Oh, God, I wish I didn't say that, or, Oh, she said something to me. Now it's on my mind for the rest of the you know, never, and I can't tell you, I've been to plenty of psychotherapy sessions where I walk out and wish I hadn't said what I said or

Mary Wagstaff:

right, like you have to. I mean, how many people lie in therapy? Sure,

Unknown:

yeah, and, but even if you don't lie, you feel like they're somehow better than you and and you've never once come off as better than you. You've come off it with with loving, humility and acceptance and teamwork, you know, like Well, Mary Ann, you know, I see you as so much stronger. And said things before that have made me like, I'm just going to point out to you what you said last week because and I go, wow, she remembers everything I say. And thank God because I said it, but I don't remember it, and now, when she can play my own words back to me, I can hear that I'm growing. Yeah, you know, yeah,

Mary Wagstaff:

so beautiful. Thank you for that reflection, and I receive it with grace and humility and honor and yeah, just what a beautiful sentiment to leave to to these women here, and for them to know that you're part. They are part of this too, right? We're here. I always think the frequencies say the frequencies have aligned. If you're here, this means you. Neither, and this is why I do the work the way I do, because we're in this together, you know, and we are reflections of one another. So, yeah, what a beautiful conversation. Mary Ann, I knew all of the wisdom it was all going to come out. Mary Ann, and I have these beautiful conversations. And so thank you so much for being here. It's been such an honor, and I'm so excited for to get this out into the world

Unknown:

well. And you know what? Mary, one more comment as I've been sitting here talking to today, I'm excited because I had to reflect on my own self, on my own achievement, right? And I like, I, I feel really good after just having reflected on my on myself, yeah. And I feel like, like I actually wrote something and, and it was about self agency when you did that authenticity thing. And, and I'm like, I'm really excited about moving into another, another zone, you know, like this sort of concretized, yeah, some things for me. And now, like, if this helped me grow, this one conversation helped me grow, like, 1010, of our talks. So thank you for asking me. I was nervous to do it, but, you know, because I want to participate and help people, but sometimes you just feel like, you know, well, it's just me, but you know what? That's how you always let me be, and you always let me just be me. So it doesn't surprise me now in reflection. So thank you. And I'm not, not just me, but now a much better

Mary Wagstaff:

well, yeah, and I'm so glad that you brought that up, too, because this is such a celebration, right? Not just because it's like, we're on the podcast, but it's just this moment, yeah, to reflect on where have I come from? Holy crap. And, you know, and we'll talk about this more on the show, but it doesn't, it doesn't happen. Happen overnight. We have to give ourselves space to reflect, to evaluate. We didn't get to where we were overnight. And really, we know how quickly time flies by. So when you set yourself up from the beginning, which Mary Ann did, and we're still working, we still have time. Where's we got plans for this year, right? We do. We do. And you know, when you give yourself time in the space, it's like, there's no rush, there's no rush. And then from that energy, it's so much easier than, like, oh my gosh, I'm never drinking again tomorrow. And that's it. It's like, no, no, no, no,

Unknown:

right? Take a step back. Let's un let's unpack

Mary Wagstaff:

this a little bit, and you're going to get to where you want to get so much quicker with so much more consistency, predictability, sustainability, reliability, right? Like you get to where you're going when you give yourself more time, even though, at first it seems like okay as a year, a long time, well, not really in the scheme of things, because you keep stopping and starting. So why don't you take your best shot at it? And like, let's just give it some time to not be rushing, because hurrying creates worrying. That's my other new motto. And like, no more of that, no more hurrying and worrying. It's too much. Doesn't help anyone. So okay, Have a beautiful day everyone, and we will talk to you soon. Thank you, Mary. Ann, thank you, Mary. If you are ready to embrace the feminine way in your life and release alcohol effortlessly, I want to teach you how to talk to yourself when you are alone. This is the hardest yet most impactful piece of the process. Download my free guide, the six cheap phrases to calm the urge to drink and end the inner battle. You'll discover how to find relief for any urge or emotion without deprivation. Visit Mary Wagstaff, coach.com/urge tracking to get your free guide today or follow the link right here in the show notes. You