Stop Drinking and Start Living

Comparison Narrative

• Mary Wagstaff

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Today we are having an eye-opening conversation about alcohols so-called benefits. We're breaking down the myth that alcohol affects us all differently, revealing the universal chemical impact it has on our bodies—whether it's wreaking havoc on our nervous systems, disrupting our gut biomes, or throwing our endocrine systems out of balance. 

My five shifts process is set to challenge your current beliefs about drinking, peeling back the veil to expose the illusions of pleasure and connection that alcohol promises but doesn't deliver.

  • Redefine self-concept in a world where alcohol loses its grip, transitioning from a central role to a mere afterthought in your life. 
  • Learn how to step away from damaging comparative narratives that hold us back, and embrace a path of self-love and compassion. 
  • Merge spiritual alignment and a feminine perspective to cultivate a sobriety that's not just a fleeting phase, but a lasting transformation. 
  • How to realign with your deepest sense of self

This time of year can be full of joy, but it can also come with extra stress and temptations around alcohol. So, I thought, why not offer something to help bring in a bit more ease and peace?
I'd love to spend this time together with you. I miss you! 
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You have everything you need right now to find alcohol freedom with The Stop Drinking & Start Living Course. Join 100's of Women who have successfully eliminated alcohol from their lives using The Five Shifts Processes. Click here to learn more and join.

Speaker 1:

Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing alcohol, that you are longing for a deeper connection to life? If alcohol is keeping you playing small and feels like the one area you just can't figure out, you are in the right place. Hi, my name is Mary Wagstaff. I'm a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. A 20-year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help powerful women just like you eliminate their desire to drink on their own terms. In this podcast, we will explore the revolutionary approach of my proven five shifts process that gets alcohol out of your way by breaking all of the rules and the profound experience that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. I am so thrilled to be your guide. Welcome to your journey of awakening.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the show, my beautiful listeners. Okay, we're just going to jump right into it. This is probably where I exhibit the most bias in my coaching business. I'm just going to say it, but it's because I do believe it's true. And even if it's not 100% true, which I don't think it is it's still the most useful perspective. Even when people eliminate their desire to drink and they have all of this evidence that their life is better without alcohol, that alcohol in its nature is addictive, that alcohol, they can see it in new ways. They can see the effects on other people. They've done all of the things in their life and it's better. They've created better relationships, their nervous system is regulated, they're responding to life better. They don't even really want to drink.

Speaker 1:

Some people still have this deeply, deeply ingrained belief that they can't drink normally, that alcohol affects them differently, this idea that it could show up as I don't want one, I want 10. Once I start, I can't stop. Or it might show up as alcohol affects me differently. If I have two drinks, I feel terrible. My body can't handle it. Now there might be evidence that this is true. Right, you might see someone in front of you that can have the same amount of drinks as you and they seemingly go on being just fine the next day, right? The reason that this belief that alcohol affects me different than other people is so unuseful is because A or one, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that there's another person that can't have any alcohol because they're allergic to it. Right, it doesn't matter what some people can tolerate and what you can't. Now, the way that alcohol affects people differently is going to be based on so many things and it is a subjective interpretation, because someone may feel the exact same way you do and they've decided to accept it and we don't know. I have hung out with people who will deny the impact of alcohol. I have sat with someone, gone drink for drink and felt like absolute garbage the next day, where I don't even want to see the sun, and that person you know a female counterpart is like nothing's wrong, right? Is so much really in denial about the impact that alcohol has on them that there's no resistance to saying no to a drink. Those people are also so ingrained by the stigma that there is a normal way to drink, that if they have the impact of alcohol an addictive drug, an addictive neurotoxin that somehow they're less than right. My invitation to you is to hold the thought that alcohol impacts everyone the same, because it does.

Speaker 1:

The chemical reaction that happens inside of one's body once you take the chemical of alcohol into your body has a reaction inside of the body. It goes into your bloodstream. It produces a chemical response. That chemical response is perceived as a reward. That reward becomes expected. Right, it fluctuates in the levels of dopamine that are naturally occurring in the body. It floods the brain with dopamine. So your dopamine stores become depleted and when they get built up, they don't get built up the same way. And there's also another feel-good chemical that is produced just by natural things that you do in life. That also gets interrupted when we are consuming alcohol on a regular basis.

Speaker 1:

The nervous system becomes dysregulated by creating an imbalance in the way that we're responding to stimuli in our life, the way that our senses have slowed down, that we are not reacting and responding in the same way to external stimuli. So this affects the gut biome, the way that we process food, the endocrine system, which is our hormones, the neurological system. This is our nervous system, right? It literally impacts every single system of the body, with or without your support, with or without your beliefs, with or without your trauma, right? So if there are real emotional reasons why one would be drinking, if you are in a life that is creating more stress that you're not managing, then the alcohol becomes associated with that and then even affecting the blood sugar, everything in the body.

Speaker 1:

Now some people have decided this is the way they feel. You don't know what it's like to be a sober adult until you become a sober adult. But you're also having to look for it, because your beliefs can really keep you stuck in the good old days of alcohol and really connected to even the illusion of the buzz being pleasurable, right. And it's until you intentionally work yourself to the other side of that and question it through the lens of sober curiosity and the five shifts process that you really get to see that your beliefs aren't actually true. Right, that alcohol doesn't make things more romantic, that it doesn't make things more fun, that it doesn't make you more connected. You have to seek the evidence for that. But the number one thing that will keep you stuck is telling yourself I just know I can't drink like everyone else, so I just know it doesn't work for me. Great, well, you've accepted one side of it. But it's also through this lens of comparison that there's something about you that makes alcohol intolerable.

Speaker 1:

But my invitation and the most useful perspective that you can have is there's something about alcohol that makes it intolerable, and I believe that it's actually people that are refining their nervous system and their spiritual alignment that more and more it becomes intolerable to right. So you're going to feel the impact of it because you're refining your subtle body, you're refining your felt sense, you're refining your intuition. You know yourself. On a deeper level, you're going beyond the surface of just the physical. You've been doing work in a could I say, a multidimensional reality. You're working on the level of emotion, you're working on the level of spirit, you're working on the level of the mind to go beyond the narrative that has just been always presented to you. Chances are you are already doing this work and I do believe this happens naturally to women, especially when they start to enter the later phase of their life.

Speaker 1:

In the wise woman phase and the wise woman is a term for a reason because your brain is expanding your brain, you have more energy to use in other areas of your life. When you are in your post-menstruation years, right, your energy isn't going towards ovulation and menstruation, so you get to use it in other ways. You've freed up some energy to create this wise woman experience where you actually get to see things from a new perspective. You actually get to see things from a new perspective. This is gold. This is a golden opportunity, right? So you get to have whatever perspective about why alcohol is no longer working for you, one that it doesn't work for me and accepting that, but from a negative, that it's easy for other people, I don't think is useful, right. And it might be easy for other people because and you don't need to feel like you're better than anyone but because they're not as aware as you are, they're not as in tune with the subtleties of how they want to feel, how they want to be in alignment with their wholeness, with themselves mind, body, heart and soul. Okay, so that is where I want you to take your mind. Even if you could just have one, why do you want to? That's the invitation.

Speaker 1:

With holistic alcohol coaching is going beyond the one making alcohol an unimportant part of your life. This is a game changer. This is such a gift I can't emphasize it enough. This is where it's at Been there. Done that, had my life with alcohol moving on to bigger and better things where it just doesn't matter anymore. It exists, but it's no longer for me, because you are creating a new self-concept beyond alcohol. I hope this lands See where you have this comparative narrative and is it useful.

Speaker 1:

How is it useful? And maybe what's just a little tweak in the words that you can say or the perspective that you have where it really feels like a leveling up versus an acceptance of defeat. It's got this comparative narrative in any area of their life. It's so, so, so important for you just to observe that in someone else so that you can recognize it in yourself, because when we can see it happen in the other, then we can more fully see it in ourselves from a place of love and compassion. Of course it makes sense. This is the narrative that's been sold to us, so of course we're going to compare ourselves, but it's just not useful and it's keeping you stuck. Have an awesome day.

Speaker 2:

The bridge between where you are and where you want to go with alcohol is spiritual alignment. That is what makes my private coaching program so unique and effective. It meets the needs of all parts of you through a feminine lens, so that sobriety can become a sustainable part of your life, while alcohol becomes unimportant. Take your commitment to self to the next level by scheduling a private discovery call with me. Follow the link in the show notes to pick the best time that works for you and I will take care of the rest. I can't wait to connect with you in real life. Thank you.