Stop Drinking and Start Living

#1 Secret to Sustainable Sobriety : Part 1

• Mary Wagstaff

Share episode

Send us a text

Today I teach you the #1 secret to not just quitting drinking, but sustaining a life not dictated by alcohol or sobriety. If you want consistent, reliable results transforming alcohol this year,  you don't want to miss this show.   I reveal the strategic process that's been a game-changer in my own relationship with alcohol.

We talk about the importance of a structured plan and how to foster a mindset that remains calm and belief-driven amidst the storm of change.

You also still have a opportunity of joining the  40-day Alcohol Transformation Challenge that's designed to align your actions with your deepest values. 

The Stop Drinking, Start Living program is  a sanctuary of support that steers clear of the traps of moderation and deprivation. This program is revolutionizing the way we approach sobriety, providing you with the tools  to make alcohol insignificant in your life. If you are seeking a  blueprint for success, I invite you to join us as a lifetime member.

As a special gift for being part of the community here use code PODCAST at checkout to receive 10% off the program. CLICK HERE TO JOIN

This time of year can be full of joy, but it can also come with extra stress and temptations around alcohol. So, I thought, why not offer something to help bring in a bit more ease and peace?
I'd love to spend this time together with you. I miss you! 
Pre Registration is required. For more information and to register, Click Here

You have everything you need right now to find alcohol freedom with The Stop Drinking & Start Living Course. Join 100's of Women who have successfully eliminated alcohol from their lives using The Five Shifts Processes. Click here to learn more and join.

Speaker 1:

Do you ever feel like you're out growing alcohol, that you are longing for a deeper connection to life? If alcohol is keeping you playing small and feels like the one area you just can't figure out, you are in the right place. Hi, my name is Mary Wagstaff. I'm a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20-year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help powerful women just like you eliminate their desire to drink on their own terms. In this podcast, we will explore the revolutionary approach of my proven five-shifts process that gets alcohol out of your way by breaking all of the rules, and the profound experience that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. I am so thrilled to be your guide. Welcome to your journey of awakening. Welcome back to the show, my beautiful listeners. It is a new year, new year, new you, and we are rocking the 40-day alcohol transformation challenge. It is lit and it is the thing that I'm going to talk about today, about how to create sustainable sobriety. You can get in there. I'm going to leave the link up. I'm going to make sure that when you sign up, you will get into the portal for all of the replays and for all of the bonuses that are in there right now. Do not hesitate, no matter where you are in your journey, before, during or after. Make this challenge your own. That's what I told everyone. The life intention isn't about what you do, it's about how you do it. The life intention is the tool that we use to create inside of the alcohol transformation challenge, which is your values assessment. It's your opportunity to walk your talk in alignment with what your integrity. A lot of times, we just don't bring that stuff to the forefront of our brain, of our attention, of our awareness. We just go on thinking the same thoughts that are not serving us, that are not our truth. This is about using your truth, your beliefs, the things that mean something to you already, and bringing it to the forefront of the table and working on it systematically with an embodiment practice or the somatic practice to help regulate your nervous system. The life intention is self-reflective. It's not just about how you respond to alcohol or how you respond to your family. It is about how you respond to yourself when you're not in integrity, so that you can gracefully and guide yourself back into your truth, to your alignment, and then you create the results you want. It's about creating the frequency of the energy that you need to be in to generate the results you want. We're going to generate results in our life by trying to figure it out and running around with a chicken with our head cut off. That is not how we do it. We do it from a calm place of belief. You have to believe to achieve. This is not believing mantras or positive affirmations. This is believing from your heartfelt intention, from the values that are already important to you, from the expectations you have for yourself and from the other. It's just bringing them to the forefront. It's all there for you. Number one secret to sustainable sobriety is not winging it right. You go into any break, any challenge, with just the intention of I'm just not gonna drink or I'm gonna drink less for this amount of time, but you have no clue how you're gonna get there. So what do you do? You take your mind with you. You take your mind, your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, all your behavior that was supporting your, your drinking days, and you bring it with you, because you have no strategy, you have no plan, you have no system that works right and the way you know that you're winging it, and there's five things I'm gonna give you today. This is gonna be short, sweet. We're gonna get you in, get you out and get you the tools that you need. The five ways that you know you're winging it is you let alcohol still lead the conversation. You leave it up to alcohol and it will take control every single time. Okay, that's how you know you're letting alcohol lead the conversation of what you do, what you don't do, the push pull, the kind of wrestling with it. Right, you are letting it lead and it's exhausting. The second way you know that you're winging it is you do more than listen, and what I mean by that is you take more action. You, you avoid, your, avoid alcohol. You distract yourself, you replace it with other things instead of listening to what's really going on underneath the surface, listening to yourself, right? The third way that you know that you're winging it is that you think it will be easier if alcohol is not around, right? So you change your circumstances, you get rid of the alcohol, you avoid people in places, you kind of hide out and you think, if I just avoid everything, it will make it easier all the while the brain is still the same. The fourth thing that you reason, way that you know that you are winging it is that you try to solve everything at once, meaning you not only do you decide to quit drinking and drink less, but you also decide to become a health nut or write a book or start a business. Right like, you try to do everything at once, when, like the quitting drinking and then learning the new habit on the other side of alcohol is enough. Right that when once and I talked about this in the first week of the transformation challenge that call I'm so proud of, that call, I was ready, I was prepared, I was grounded, I was on point. Get in on that call, I'm giving you access to it, get in there. Is you try to solve everything at once. And, and what I had said is like, for all the reasons that you are drinking, right, so the forty days is the unlearning alcohol and the relearning in new way. Don't go try to add other things into the mix and start a business. That's gonna happen naturally, the space you make Is going to happen naturally and those other things are gonna wanna come in when they do you do them for pleasure. I remember this woman that I worked with, who you know I kind of always had struggled with her the way that she wanted to be, to be and when she started really honoring herself around alcohol and change the conversation she was having with herself. When she started going to the gym, she like wasn't going just because she should or to check something off the list. She was going because it was how she was taking care of herself and it felt good just showing up there and guess what? She lost her let the ten pounds that she'd been wanting to lose. She was crushing it. So don't try to solve everything at once. Trust that once you get alcohol out of your way, you have so much more space in your brain. Let that's enough, right, everything else will fall into place. I promise you that you need to trust that and you're not exhausting yourself. And the fifth way that you know that you're winging it is that you believe your own story. You believe your story about alcohol. You believe your story about why it's not working for you and you. You are in that thought process. You're in the old story and you believe the narrative right, you're not questioning it. That is how you know that you are winging it. So if you want sustainable sobriety sobriety that you don't have to. That's not precious sobriety that you don't have to protect. Right? That's not one drink away from you, going right back to where you started. Right, because in this process, like people will drink, but it's not a problem because we evaluate it and then they do it differently next time because they have all of these, because they're not winging it right. So the number one secret to sustainable sobriety is don't wing it. Have a system in place and I'll just reiterate those five things. You know that you're doing this. If you let alcohol lead the conversation, if you do more, you take more action, then listen to what's really going on under the surface. If you think it'll be easier with alcohol not around, so you change your circumstances, that's another thing that will happen naturally on its own. So I'm not saying don't, you know, don't go hang out at dive bars and happy hour of the time. I'm not saying that. But you think that's the only way that you're going to be successful is if you get, if no one's drinking around you, and you get everything out around the house. Another way is that you try to solve everything at once, so you become an entrepreneur and an author and a fitness guru, in addition to quitting drinking. And the fifth way is that you believe your own story. Believe it. You're kind of in a martyr or a victim mentality right, where everything else life is happening to you instead of as you. I know you have the best, absolute best of intentions, and that is what I talked about on the training this week. You have the absolute best of intentions and that's why you keep showing up and that's why you're not willing to quit trying right. It's about where you place your perspective of that intention right. So if you're doing any of these five things and you're winging it, then you just need to shift in perspective on this old habit. So what I've done is I've put this together and then next week on the podcast, I am going to teach you what to do instead. So you're winging it. It's one of these five things and out of these five things that you're doing, I'm going to show you what to do instead. So stay tuned for next week's episode. Jump in on the 40 day alcohol transformation challenge now. As soon as you will sign up, you will be directed to create your life intention and you will also have the recording of week one, which is going to carry you through the challenge so that you know how to place your attention. And when you're there, live on the call. Saturdays, 8am Pacific time. You get to meet me, we get to hang out. I mean, that's such a fun opportunity. I would absolutely love to have you there. And for the next four weeks we're going to be really getting coached, sharing, celebrating and answering questions and creating a really beautiful community vibe of women just like you, who are ready to take inspired action, who are living through their intuitive lens, who want to really refine their intuition and really start showing up, to no longer be apologetic for their emotions. Have an amazing week, happy New Year, and I'll see you soon. Hey, my beautiful listener. So the number one secret to sustainable sobriety is not winging it. You need a system that will give you consistent and predictable results. So, even if you do have a drink, you are always moving towards making alcohol unimportant in your life, not stopping and starting. And that's where the stop drinking and start living program comes in. It's your opportunity to know what's working, what's not working and what you need to do differently so that you can get out of the moderation and deprivation trap. To become a lifetime member of the program. All you need to do is follow the link right here in the show notes or visit my website, marywagstaffcoachcom. And, as a special thanks for being part of our show, enter the word podcast at checkout to receive an additional 10% off. I am so excited for you to explore the endless possibilities beyond alcohol. I will see you on the inside.