Ep. #204 Sacred Rebellion

We dive DEEP today into reclaiming the "party girl" / rebel, as an exploration of the Wild Woman, innate in you.  How do you break free, let loose, wile out, without alcohol?  

Sacred Rebellion is regarding with high respect what YOU deem appropriate for yourself. Rebellion is against what someone else has deemed appropriate for you. Sacred Rebellion is not in a rebel without a cause way or a need to shame the other, but a reclamation of your own innate desires as an erotic women. 

Alcohol until now has been your source of "rebellion", but you're still drinking what their selling.

Today's episode will answer the burning question "now what? is this all there is?"
The fear that you will loose your edge and your wild side.
What you think is your only access to being bold and free. 
Why you have the desire to sometimes, check out and what that really means for your growth. 

Sacred rebellion is the recognition that with alcohol you were never free or wild.
How alcohol as an act of rebellion has perpetuated the other stories that keep you in boxes in other areas of your life. 

 I also give you a ritual to remember to participate in for New Years Eve, or anytime your desire is calling you. 

Learn the 6 Simple Cheat Phrases To Calm The Urge To Drink And End The Internal Battle! Follow the link HERE. 

You have everything you need right now to find alcohol freedom with The Stop Drinking & Start Living Course. Join 100's of Women who have successfully eliminated alcohol from their lives using The Five Shifts Processes. Click here to learn more and join.

Transcript

Unknown: 0:52

Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing alcohol, that you are longing for a deeper connection to life? If alcohol is keeping you playing small and feels like the one area, you just can't figure out you are in the right place. Hi, my name is Mary Wagstaff. I'm a Holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help powerful women just like you eliminate their desire to drink on their own terms. In this podcast, we will explore the revolutionary approach of my proven five shifts process that gets alcohol out of your way by breaking all of the rules, and the profound experience that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. I am so thrilled to be your guide. Welcome to your journey of awakening. Welcome back to the show my beautiful listeners, I'm so thrilled that you're here. If you're new welcome in to our sacred circle of exploration. Today's episode is a really, really important one. And I've alluded to it a lot in my content. But like, it is something that over the last couple of weeks, I had a huge breakthrough, not only with you know, kind of my thesis for this work, but me personally, under the you know, under the the idea of sacred rebellion and why this is so, so important in our conversation and in your journey away from alcohol. And we're going to bring it full circle to, to how to use this concept in real time. Right now, if you're listening to this December 28 2022. into creating a ritual you will remember for the new year, before we get on with that I really wanted to just make sure you knew about a new offering that I've added to for you, and for the new year. And it's available right now. And so you can get in there. So in addition to the complimentary consultations, which I have for you to, to see if my extended one on one awakening beyond alcohol program, is the right fit for where you are. So I really help you in those consultations, articulate the problem, right what you see as a problem to help you articulate that and see where you're stuck, and help you really see that all of your past attempts have no bearing on what's possible for the future when we utilize the tools of the five shifts process. Right. So so many people come to those consultations without having like, their biggest thing is the belief in themselves that why will this time be different. So we talk about how the five shifts is different and how the the perspective that you have about why you're stuck. Is, is not supporting you're getting unstuck, right. And then together, we really look at making, you know, I talk to you about the program and show you and together we there's a consent for making a decision about moving forward. But you know, that you want your success is inevitable, and you're ready to really anchor that commitment into being an active participant because your your dedication to learning a new way and learning and applying these tools with accountability with a safe space that you can trust, and then evaluating your results. And having that ongoing support is really like the only way that we learn anything in life is by continuously reapplying it and being willing to fall and get up. Matthew told me this quote yesterday, it was something like he had listened to it was congratulations on failing most people never try, you know. So it's it's redefining what it means to fail and that you're not when you when you sign up for an extended participation. You're not stopping and starting over because we don't count days, right? We really we look at the circumstances and you generate evidence based on the circumstance. And your thoughts about it, right. So you're already you're gaining momentum, not just a number of a day. And I was inspired to do this new offering, which is a one time one on one holistic alcohol coaching call with me which is what you would get on a weekly basis inside of the program. And this is there is a special that I'm running for January for 2023 for $23 where you can come and see what the amazing impact of the five shifts process in real time. So this is the quickest shift in the shortest amount of time. It's quantum, right like you are going to get in we've already created a consent for coaching. We're going to look at your mind I'm going to guide you through the resistance that you're feeling Your body when it comes time to drink, and really see where your mind takes you and that resistance so we can create a new conversation and have you getting over a hump, where you are where you're feeling that and really anchoring it into your body having the experience of holistic alcohol coaching with me. I mean, no one else does this work besides me, because it's just me. So I just wanted you to know that's there. And both of these offerings are available in the link inside of the show notes. But it's this also this container to explore, to be seen to be heard to be vulnerable without judgment. And then in a way that you have a new beauty, you have that new perspective to take with you to start applying. So you've actually experienced it because the downfall of dry January is really the same downfall as you know, the self help world where it's like, you take in all this information. But there's no transformation, right. So if you start dry January with just the intention of taking a break and getting through 30 days, and then you celebrate the end of it with a drink, which is going to reinforce the need and necessity and importance of alcohol, dry January is going to actually make can really can be the opposite of what you're going for, it can actually reinforce and strengthen the habit of alcohol, if you don't set your intention to change your mind. But this is why I'm giving you this opportunity right now to get coached to change your mind so that you can use dry January as an opportunity to set forth with the intention. I'm ready to be happier without alcohol, like this is it I'm ready to be happier without alcohol. And I'm going to find all of the reasons why that's true, and how that's true. And then you're going to implement what we're going to talk about today in this concept of sacred rebellion. So sacred rebellion, is an idea of expressing really the wild woman archetype that has so many women stuck in now what in that question of like, now what you know that that party girl, the bad girl, the the one, the part of you that wants to let loose. And sacred is something that you regard with highest, the highest respect, and rebellion is against what someone or something has deemed appropriate for you. So you're regarding and have the highest respect what you deem appropriate for yourself. That's what sacred rebellion is, my desires, the way that I make decisions for myself what I deem appropriate for me, my definition of that is I'm respecting have the highest regard. And unintentionally, we get to this place where we have a box around what we deem appropriate, right. And that's why the wild woman is alive inside of you. But the only lens that you've been able to express that through is through alcohol, right? It is a safe and mean, safe, socially unacceptable way for you to check out, right, but then you're completely checking out of reality. So there's that consequence of I'm going to check out of my responsibilities and the day to day life so that I can go be an independent woman. But then the the downside of that is that you're checking out of what your real desire is, because that desire, that longing, that yearning to be that we're going to talk about the wild woman archetype. To be that, like, why is that inside of you, right? Your desire for for that breaking out and being free and letting loose, is pointing you to something inside of you that wants to be expressed. But until this until now, you didn't even know that there was another option for that. But I'm telling you that there is and that this this energy that lives inside of you. If you've ever explored archetypal energy, right, we hear about the made in the mother, the wise woman, the lover, and then the wild woman or the Huntress, there's the Enchantress. There, these are living inside of you so deeply. And you know, this is what makes my work and the work of awakening beyond alcohol beyond the illusion of all of these boxes that you've set up for yourself. Because you get to this point of I've checked all these things off the list, I have my family, I have my partner, I have my home, I have my children. I have my career, I have other interests and hobbies, even alcohol is the one thing that I can't get out of the way. Why will because I have no way to express myself as a erotic, natural, independent woman free of all of those things that I just listed. Right? But you've created this box and there's so much satisfaction in there. And so many of those things satisfy those other archetypal desires of the maid and the mother the lover are right. And then but you get to this place and that that part inside of you that's ready to be expressed as a fully free being unto herself, has no outlet except for alcohol. So when you drink, you can check out when you're drink you, you shut off the brain that has all of those to do lists, right? Like you're out with your happy hour with your colleagues and your kids are at home, or you're out with a night with your partner. Right, and so and so alcohol is giving you that out, that you have the opportunity to give to yourself, but you have put unintentionally, there's all of these boxes and rules and restrictions, that the process of the five shifts and coaching helps you also see aren't real, they are boxes created by an illusion, you know, of kind of something that we've all bought into. And like I've said this so many times on the show, when we talk about they and culture and whatever it's like, none of that matters, like your brain create, like it was influenced by your parents, by the church, by society, by consumerism, by capitalism, by colonialism, right. But you know that now and so, but like those are still just constructs. And yes, if you do something different, this act of sacred rebellion, you are going to be going kind of against the main stream, but it's still just an idea. And when you do it, you will realize there's no real consequence to it. The consequence is freedom. The consequence is breaking free of the shackles of the constructs of the mind of what someone else has tried to sell you, right. Because when we have the sacred, when we think we're being rebellious through alcohol, you're still drinking, what they're selling you, there's no act of rebellion, you're falling right into the mainstream of the norm of this is the only way that I get to be free. Right, you still have the shackles of consumerism and capitalism on through the act of drinking. And, like, just knowing that is all you need to know. It doesn't, it doesn't really matter, like people are really good at marketing. And we could go all the way back to, you know, the, the, like inventing the calendar, and I'm gonna talk a little bit about. And I talked a little bit about this a couple of weeks ago about celebrating the solstice and how we don't, we don't really realize that we've already been given the gift of ritual innately created in our wild woman newness, right? So the wild woman also connects to the cycles and the rhythms of the pulse of nature. And that is, when you do that, you have now access to sacred rebellion to a way of expressing yourself wild Lee, right, like wild is of nature. And when you consume alcohol, you're actually this is why I always say alcohol is a distortion. It's a complete inversion of the truth because when we consume alcohol, we are actually downgrading and impeding our wildness we are, we are 14 and invalidating our natural emotions, our natural desire that is coming up inside of us that wants to be expressed. Now the chemical of alcohol amplifies that feeling. And that's why this piece is so important. It amplifies that feeling. It can when you're drinking, but the desire for the chemical creates this kind of anticipatory excited, anxiousness. Right. And so is it's when you're not in the practice of, of letting your emotions and the sensations in your body kind of be a roadmap to and a compass to like what what's going on here. You can easily mistake that that excited anticipation of just the the chemical, the drug of alcohol, as adding more to your desire. So in my own personal experience, and what I see with my clients is that that there's a different quality to the energy of the innate wild woman wanting to be expressed, versus the just desire to drink because there's this yearning that comes up inside of you this of your own erotic nature. Sometimes it feels like being turned on. Sometimes it's like I want to let loose I need to be out I need to be free. I need to release the shaft goes right. And a lot of that is the thoughts of your own mind. And this is why we have to go deeper, right, because you've created a lot of these shackles that are oppressing your own oppression in your own mind of what's available to you. But then you add the chemical of alcohol, and it it really amplifies that like excited energy, but in a way that's not natural that wouldn't be there. So the way that you experience that now is that the your innate desire, and a lot of times it will happen for women during their time of ovulation. Where there's an arousal, right even just like scents, like the wind on your skin, right, and this is the wild woman. But because those sensations and this is very important, those sensations of that arousal have been associated with alcohol and with you wiling out raging out right partying. Then now every time you feel that you associate it with alcohol, and so then your brain thinks that's the only option also, right. So you have all of these boxes of kind of rules that you've given yourself of why the wild woman can't be expressed all day, every day. But you didn't, you didn't have these words for it, probably. And it's your escape, right? Alcohol has been your escape away from the day to day from the mundane from the from the, the addition of, of the cultural implications and the boxes that we put ourselves in. And these boxes are great. I mean, I love like, I love my box of my home, you know, and there's like, it meets so many of our needs, but the lack and the yearning, and that void that you feel, is because you don't know how to access the wild woman through this sacred rebellion through what you innately want. And this is the exploration like, I will cry thinking about it. Because I see it time and time again, for so many women. And for men, I see Matthew go through it all the time. And he doesn't give himself permission, versus like me putting in my two cents, doesn't give himself permission to go like he is like, I want to go camping by myself in the woods. And he doesn't do it. And I'm like, Well, I can do it for you. You know, like, I just went on a trip to Sedona, Arizona by myself. It was over, I was working. But there was no meat. Like it was a pleasure trip, I went and experienced and like people like I've my entire life. I've been asked, I've been in the business of sacred rebellion. Because I've had so many people tell me, it must be nice. And what I tell them is, it's a choice. And it's a decision. And so when I went on this trip, I put all the pieces together, I had someone come and care for me. And the times after school, right? Everyone who had to get a hold of me, I booked the Airbnb and I booked the flight like it was it was I planned it. I saved my money. And I planned it. Right like, and I made the choice. And all of the thoughts that come up about why I can't leave because I'm a mom aren't true. Right? What it shows em it, actually, is how to live a life on your own terms, that I can be a mom and an independent woman. And I come back to Him with all of this amazing new information about what I experienced and the energy now I'm renewed, now I'm fresh. So putting, like giving myself permission to do those things is actually impacting my relationships in a positive way. And then those two get to have their time together. Right? The reason that drinking feels rebellious is like I said, because it's been independent, it's a way that you have given yourself an opportunity to be independent, leave your responsibilities to your mind, turn off the mind and the to do list. And the other thing that we go in when we work from the outside in and coaching is we really look at that to do list also. So like there's it doesn't become this tipping point for you. Right where it's like if I don't get out here, like it's not so urgent. You start to weave it into your life. You give yourself permission for there to be the both and to be the mother and the lover and the wild woman. Like this is what you get to do through this work. Right that you just we just haven't seen. So it's an exploration of blowing open your perception on everything. Because you think you can't. You can't have all of these things. You can't do all of these things without alcohol. You haven't learned how to give yourself permission. You have too many objections for why you can't. And I see this so much In our society, with men and with women. And the other reason that you is like you just might not know what to do or what else to do, it's like you haven't you haven't seen it mirrored to you by your mother, or other women in society. And or you maybe see on an Instagram, women are pole dancing, and you're like, I could never do that. That's your thought I could never do that. Right? The wild woman is curious. It's like, what if I tried what would happen, right? Maybe I get a friend and I go. So it looks like the other that it's available to the other. And fortunately, like we're seeing like that this is like becoming so mainstream for the the example of like, pole dancing, right. And that brings more in sexuality and sensuality, which is part of it. And I feel like I've just scratched the surface on it. This is actually my intention for my, I don't know if I have a word for the year, but is to really explore what it means to be a sexual and sensual being unto myself. Right? Like, even the idea of pleasure has to come from the other. And then you know, like, self pleasure is embarrassing. But then then self pleasure also looks like one thing, where like, I've experienced such deep pleasure before in a sound bath, where my entire body was tingling, or sometimes just being out in nature and like laying on the earth. And there's a woman I had on the show before where we talked about Yoni steaming. And I don't know what the episode is called Sabrina have a debt. But I remember her talking. If you're into this conversation, go listen to that. This, I remember her talking about, you know, why are we embarrassed to explore our own bodies by ourself with ourselves, like, No one's even watching? Right? So it's kind of breaking the ice of that. And I really think that exploring your sensuality, your sexuality, your wildness, like the innateness of who you are, your your rageful emotions, your your deep emotions of grief, and sad, like all of these things are part of your wild woman expression. And they're, you know, there hasn't been the opportunity to do it, right until now. So you have to be the one to figure out how to make it happen. And that is why I say your participation in transformation is actively is required, right? Because then you'll end up just not drinking. And that's why you will feel deprivation, if you don't explore these other facets of what's possible for you. And these boxes that are just concepts, they're just thoughts that you feel like you're in, and like you don't have an option. Right? Like you feel like you don't have an option that there's going to be a big upset if you decide, I'm not going to my in laws for dinner. Right? Like you think that. But that's not true, right? Like, and then you get to decide, everyone gets to decide if that's a problem. Because I know I don't always go to my in laws. Because who wants someone someplace if they don't want to be there, right. But I do things that are important for other people, when they ask even if I don't want to that has to be clear. Right? So it's all a creates so many things about boundaries, and communication and wants and desires, and letting other people feel however, they need to feel like if Matthew doesn't really care if I go to Sunday, the Sunday gathering that they used to do all the time, then that's fine, right? Then I get some of my own meantime. But if he asks and says this is really important to me, you know, then that's a different conversation. And so I'm just giving you some examples of how I've expressed this in my own life, and the conversations that we have, where you're opening possibility instead of shutting yourself down by a thought of obligation of what you think why you think you don't have a choice why you think your only outlet is through alcohol. And you might have other outlets right that satisfy the need of these other archetypal energies. But they're not this. They're not this wild woman archetype. They're not the expression of the raw natural, erotic, innocent, right, my teacher cinta Debbie always says like, your eroticism is innocent. It is the most innocent thing it is what you were born with. Skin to Earth. Right? We weren't born with clothes on. Experience in pleasure in and sensation And for her own benefit, right, that's what the wild woman is for her benefit. Drinking has made it acceptable and okay to leave your kids for the night and not need an excuse. But, you know, we need all of these other reasons like we can only travel if it's for work, and we have an obligation or a duty for it. The path of sacred rebellion is the journey of awakening, at least it's one facet of it. And the reason that this ties in to your desire for alcohol is because when you're infusing that, that yearning, that longing, with a part of you that you've never even explored, that you didn't even know existed, the need for alcohol goes away. And it's not through substitution. It's through becoming whole, it's through becoming whole and holy unto yourself, for yourself by your self, the sacredness of what you deem appropriate, the sacredness for you, by you of you, in a way that creates meaning. Right yearning for something you have only experienced in a way of, of what someone else has told you has, is appropriate. And that's why this is an exploration of your life of growth of possibility. Now, if you just want to get alcohol out of the way, and go back to the way things are, that's part of it too, right? Like you can get alcohol out of the way and not change your life. It's the way that you're perceiving it. It's the energy in which you show up. It's the the objections, and the rules and the playbook that you've given yourself. Right now, you could say someone else gave it to you, but now you're an adult, and you get to decide, so that's fine. And there's you know, there's like that reparent teen and that unboxing that people talk about or like that unboxing like that sifting I don't know what the term is it term is unpacking. That's what it is unpacking. Unboxing unpacking. So you're unpacking right, these all these ideas. And this becomes thrilling and this becomes exciting. And this becomes part of your your ritual. Right? Not alcohol, because there anchors you into a deeper meaning and then you don't feel like shit. The next day, you feel amazing. You feel free, you feel alive. Your enlivening energy inside of you that you didn't even know is there. You know, I've talked a lot about in the show about my experience hula hooping that spiraling up, if you know about Kundalini, the dormant energy that lays in the base of the spine, in our spinal column when the energy rises from the root, right, because right now, it's like we live in the Root Chakra, it's like we're in survival mode, we're in scarcity. And when that energy rises, and lifts up into the other centers, and the other places that we actually have hormones and other other types of chemicals are secreted in the body, and glands, and the lymph and then all the way up into the pineal gland. Like now you're activating the energy of the body like Joe Dispenza talks about this, like these energy centers of the body, there's actual biological things happening at where the chakras are, right, but if you're just in survival mode, and in go mode, they go in and then it takes away from all of the satisfaction and the magic of those other archetypes that you love so much, because one of them is being so neglected. Like you love being a mother, you love being a business woman, you love being a lover and caring for others. And, and, and volunteering and being out in the world. And like the main energy of, you know, gardening and, and sometimes just being, you know, even playful, right? With your kids, or however that shows up for your area, like trying something new. But when you are in deprivation in these other areas, it takes away from that. And you've put yourself in a box with all of your thinking. And that's what we get to sift through. Because it's like, really, your thoughts are the only box that you've created, right? And you might see, like, you've seen it portrayed through reinforced reinforce, you've seen your own beliefs reinforced and this isn't like an accident, right? Like, the peep, like the people that make advertisements and that make entertainment. They know and they have the same beliefs too. But it's like it's reinforced on purpose because it anchors you into that belief and it creates fear and scarcity and it creates lack. So just really pay attention to that. So it's reinforced by entertainment, religion and other institutions. This invisible box. But it's not a problem if you know, you just get to decide, right? And then you're going to have all of these thoughts about being, you know, going the other way on the path, like taking your own path. But that's none of that's true, either. Because there's plenty of people innovating out there, right? I mean, even the people that are making the marketing and making the entertainment they had to take, they had to go outside of the box, but they've seen how to do it. So now they're just like selling it back to you. Right, like any person that's innovative, has had to claim like, part of their wildness, they've had to become erect like, unreasonable. And we think it's unreasonable. To be to not walk the path that's influenced by society, but maybe it's the most reasonable thing there is. So you have to claim your wild woman and the wild woman is that innate blueprint of a woman, before she was influenced by society before she was under the influence? Holy shit, who is that woman? Right? Like, this is what we get to explore. It's so fun. It's amazing. And we're worried about alcohol. Who cares about the alcohol like that's when the alcohol becomes such a moot point? Who is the woman before she was influenced by society? That is the question for the rest of your life. That is the journey that is the exploration, society, culture, entertainment, parents really like all of the things who am I before I was influenced by society? What an alcohol keeps just telling you, it's okay. You're fine. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. She's curious. She's inquiry. Curiosity is our main our is our main like thing. She's, she's in tune with, like nature, like, there's a compassion in nature. It's like she's trusting. She's curious, she's exploring, she's inquisitive, she decides for herself. She lives in life with alignment with her values, her desires in her truth, she decides for herself, that's the most important piece, not what someone else has deemed appropriate for her. That's the rebellion. She knows who she is, she finds satisfaction in the unending opportunities of change and growth, like their satisfaction when it's when they're when it's not about achievement, right? Rather than getting to some end result to the happy place. Because you have that you've checked the things off the boxes, right? There might be some other things that you want to achieve. But like, you have that and you're still not happy and you're still not satisfied, there's still this gap. There's still as long as there's still this yearning. So you know, that's not it, right? Because you have to be in the intention with the purpose of growth for ever. Right? Or, like, the satisfaction, like the growth could be in the stillness also, right? So it's not just like action, right? It's like, I want to get so good at Shavasana. And I was telling Matthew last night, I'm like, there are times when, when I feel so good, like listening to just like meditations all the time and doing yoga nidra and like body scans and body relaxation. And then there's times where like, I don't want to process my emotions, or like my feelings or my life in that way at all. I gotta get out. I gotta get out. But that's all of it. This is like this multi dimensional woman but human experience, right? Like, that's why we have all of these things that that you know, that fulfill those, but the fucking brilliance of the alcohol industry is they have sold you on every single archetype that you can find it through alcohol, right? You can be sexy, young, innocent, right? It keeps you young forever, right? How to take a break as a mom, right? Or even like mom's the mommy's wine club, like how the moms can act, right? The sacred rebellion of the wild woman, the lover like that It's sensual and romantic and the sunset on the beach. It has sold us on every archetype and we're drinking it. We are drinking it and getting addicted to it. Because alcohol is such a highly addictive chemical. That like give yourself a break. Right? Like, like it that's why it's not worth it. Like it's there. And like, it just I mean, it makes you sick, right? They have sold you on every archetype of desire that is like you'll never find in there. It only keeps you wanting more. It's like the drug dealer on the other side of the playground. But there's so much more on the other side of it. And this is the journey of awakening. This is what I'm selling you but I don't have to sell you on it because it's your life. Like I I'm just wanting to show you the way I'm opening the door for you, right? I'm like, because I've done it, I'm on it, I'm doing it. So the wild woman also processes and transforms the past. She transmutes that she moves in spirals, not just wanting to repeat and recreate the past. But she takes the past and she grows, right she evolves, she levels up, she can see where she came from, and learns from her failure. She is a free spirit, and she's a wild child. She dresses for her own pleasure, right? And you might think, like, Oh, this isn't me. No, it is you, girl. Trust me, it is you. That's why you're drinking part of it. She dresses for her own pleasure. She doesn't use her sexuality as a tool for manipulation to get what she wants, right, because they've sold us this wildness and independence in through a masculine lens. Right. And it's like the wounded masculine. It's not even the way that the masculine wants to express itself wildly and innately. I found this quote from someone named Hannah Kent, whose novel, brutal rights was made into a screen, a screen of film, which I have to go see now. She says wildness is not a lack of civilization or law, it's an access and access, excuse me, of spirit that cannot be contained. While this is not a lack of civilization or law, it's an excess of spirit that cannot be contained. Right. And that's like the sacredness part of it. So you're the way to get here and to tie it into your life this coming new year, especially, is to throw out the goddamn box of all of the things that you thought you it needed to look like, right, but you have to sift through that you have to know what the walls of the boxes are. And you have to be able to define and this is the shift number one, you have to normalize what you've been internalizing, you have to confront the story, you have to define what the box is for you, you have to be able to articulate and see the box and put it out on the table without judgment so that you know what you're wanting to redefine, because if you don't know the thoughts, then they're just gonna keep coming up. Like if you don't expose them. One of the things that alcohol allows you to do, and the act of rebellion that you don't know how to do on your own, right, and you get curious and you get compassionate about yourself that it feels a little strange and awkward to put on a new outfit to maybe like just dress up while you're at home, right? Like sometimes I just dress up when we're having dinner at home and play music for everyone like this is my ability to act in my wild woman nature, or go out for a hike by myself or take a pole dancing class, right? So these are all actions that we can take. But we can also change our thoughts about what's possible about the way we're even showing up when we're at home, right like on Christmas Eve. I like Matthew was off. And we our Christmas plans got shot because we had this huge ice storm out here, we were supposed to have everyone over for a big family gathering, which we were really excited about. And we ended up having our own celebration, but like I spent the majority of the morning, kind of like doing some ritual stuff by myself. And you know, the wild woman in me also it creates the sacred ritual for an offers it to the family to participate in, in a new way. Right. So I spent the morning in ritual by myself. And that was the my wild woman. So it's like your thoughts about how you think you need to show up when you're in certain places and how you need to behave. And you know, it's like, all you're doing like when you're at home drinking is it's creating that party of one in your head. Right? We're all you need to really do is change your thoughts about the way you're showing up that you've defined, because you're like, I gotta cook. I gotta do this. I got to do that, that unsolicited to do list. Like you don't have to do any of that none of it. It's all a choice. And it actually will not be a disservice to anyone if you choose to say no, in fact, it's a benefit. It was like such a bet I had such a great evening and then Christmas day like I was so much more present and felt Christmas really isn't my thing. I celebrate the solstice. So like, but I was there engaging and it was an opportunity, you know, to be in celebration and ceremony with my family and like everyone's off. But I was so much more Were willing and available and just like enlivened, because I had taken that, that time, that sacred rebellion time, write what's important to me in a way that I deem appropriate, right. And like, I saw Matthew kind of pouting around a little, because I don't think he knew what to do it himself, but he never asked me like, hey, let's find something like, I'd love to do something with you right now. And so like, if he wants to, like, have a different, you know, a different outcome, then he needs to ask for that. And we played a bunch of games, we got a couple new games for Christmas. Which is so fun. So you have to follow your desire through your body, you have to let your body lead instead of the alcohol is shutting it down. So the sacred regarded with great respect, you have to see that this desire in you is you is your temple body is the way you experience your light. And you have to look at that. And regard it with great respect. And alcohol is actually doing the opposite. It's disregarding it with disrespect. Right? Now, I don't say that we don't want to add more negative, like, feel connotations to the already, you know, the judgment around it. But when you shift that, and we look at i, this is an act of respect, right? Not, I'm just we don't say I'm disrespecting my body with alcohol. It's like, I'm respecting my body, by allowing, by finding an outlet for my desires in a new way, by Re by redefining the story by throwing the box away by not, you know, by breaking free of the box, your emotions are your in terminal compass, right? Like, you don't want to just follow them blindly. And not question them, which is kind of what we do from the day we're born. And then we just see like, Oh, someone's like, oh, you can do this to have fun, or you can do this to relieve stress or whatever. But when you when you learn the sacred act of rebellion through the journey of awakening, your emotions are your internal compass, that, that you learn to trust you learn to be in relationship with and it is a practice, right. And right now you're not in practice of that you're not in practice of being in relationship with yourself. You are but in in a way that's like, hasn't been serving you. And it's been based on what lots of other people have deemed appropriate for you. Right? And we're not we're not wasting our time shaming or blaming them. But that's just the reality, right? The influences and the conditioning that you've been under until now. So how do you want to express yourself? This is freedom. This is exploration. This is the end to boredom, right? Alcohol is like perpetuating boredom. This is the end of boredom. What is sacred rebel in look like for you? This New Year's Eve? Right? Like? What does that look like? Right? Maybe that's you doing a ritual with yourself? Right? Maybe that's self pleasure. Maybe that's you buying a Yoni egg and working with that a Yoni crystal. I'll put Sabrina's info in this, the show notes because she has a whole program about teaching women how to dive deeper into that part of, of connecting with the sacredness of the womb, which was like, Oh, we could go on like, that's the wild woman, right? And so the next time you want to rage it, and you think your only choice is happy hour with your colleagues. I want you to follow that desire, and really say like, what is this yearning for alcohol? What is the desire that I really want? Right? I want to check out from these responsibilities, but what's another way to do that, so you get to be creative, and that's the exploration that we also do together. I've talked about this on the show before and I'm gonna give you this and I don't talk about substitute. I don't like my I don't like fake alcohol. But I do like elixirs and I do you know as an L is like an alchemical process, and I like tasty beverages. And I've talked about pomegranate juice before. So the pomegranate is a representation of life and death and fertility and marriage. And if you can get a pomegranate they're usually fresh this time of year, this the winter time in the in the North. The northern hemisphere, having a ritual with a pomegranate of you know, and it's kind of this also this representation of the fertile womb, right? You open it and it's this juicy blood red that has been demonized as in Pure gross a problem. And you open it to these like lush seeds. Make sure you like cut it open in a bowl, I like to roll my pomegranate out first like roll it out because it gets the seeds loose, put it in the bowl and then take a knife and cut it and then just squeeze it and you'll get the juice out in this drink that fresh juice. And this is the sacred act of rebellion. Like the it is earthy and take it's like dirt like there's just like this dirt. Really I know that doesn't sound appetizing, but it is it's like so it's so earthy, and juicy and sweet and bitter. And that's how you can please your senses. Right, that's how you can find pleasure. And you can decide right now how you want and then maybe you make a playlist, and you get your family to have a party with you. So I also like to use the pomegranate juice and I would just buy a thing of 100% pomegranate juice and put mulling spices in it, you can do it in two ways you can have it hot. So heated up, you can have it hot, and maybe add a little water to it or a tea bag. I like it with black tea like so half and half it you put half pomegranate juice, half water, the mold and with a tea bag. And also you can make it into a spritzer where you can have you know a quarter pomegranate juice and then soda water sparkling water. You can put rosemary, you can put orange in it. And it's this gorgeous drink. It's beautiful, the color, it has so much aromatic. And it's really a deep connection to the earth and think about doing it. Like this is a ritual to remember like this is the ritual you will actually literally remember tomorrow, the next day, they will carry you in and like you could eat the pomegranate seeds and what like when you eat each seed, what do you want that to represent for you? What do you want to plant inside of you as a sacred act of rebellion. For the new year, for your journey of awakening, for exploring what is really available to the wild woman. One last thing I did Jade and facilitated my first ecstatic dance on the solstice. So I want you to know that there is going to be more of this and an offering for you to come and sit in circle and in ritual with me and then explore the body. I thought of you the entire time because it was so surreal. It is something I've only ever dreamed of. I've facilitated many women's circles and it was in conjunction with CO facilitator freedom Ciavarella who's been on the show who's also part of my program. There's up an offering from her as a magical mentor. In there she is a cacao ceremony, listen and Alchemist and she's also a coach as well. But so she we had a cacao ceremony, which opens the heart, it oxygenates the blood to like 80% or something. It's crazy. And we had a ritual and a ceremony and it went through this wave of this journey. And it really connected us to a lot of the different archetypes in one sitting. And then the expression of the wild woman through just organic movement right there's no talking on the dance floor and an ecstatic dance and these waves of how the music moves with your body right not through like dance scene, but through waves of joy, ecstasy, grief sorrow, like closing your eyes and connecting into how does your body feel like it wants to move. And we've talked about this several times like if there is a conscious or ecstatic dance near you or cacao ceremony go, but I'm definitely going to have this as an offering in the new year it'll obviously have to be virtual but I will be doing more of that live as well. I it was a something that would never have been possible a if alcohol was in my way. And without the five shifts. I continue to use the five shifts to literally make my dreams come true. I mean, seriously, girl, ecstatic dance DJ, I mean, I'm out playing a playlist here. I'm like mixing songs. I've got a lot of work to do. But like, it was so powerful, and so overwhelming to see people moving through these expressions through the way that I was, you know, I mean, the whole thing like the energy of the space that we created, then through these waves of music and knowing the experience I've had on the dance floor, and like I did it I showed up I did the train I was actively participating in My transformation and in my growth without objections of the box that someone else deemed appropriate for me, right, I can have an objection that I'm too old that it's I don't have time that all these things, I have other responsibilities. And I did it because I use the five shifts. And now I'm a DJ. And I'm still playing with my DJ name. If you have any suggestions for me, you can let me know. But I think because you know, in in, like, circle, you know, it's like a sacred sisterhood. And just to play as like a little bit of sense of humor, but also in reverence of, I've been thinking about Sister Mary, as my DJ name, just sister, Mary. And all you know, with the robes and the hood and everything, and I have a little, I'm a devotee of Mother Mary and her energy, and her guidance, and I have this like, disco mother, Mary, that lights up that I had on my DJ Booth was awesome. Or my DJ table. So this is what's possible for you through the act of sacred rebellion through the archetype of the wild woman, and you're gonna hear more about this, and like, this is kind of, you know, really my thesis about alcohol, here. And now. So you're hearing it, and I would love to take you and help and support you through this awakening, because it's priceless. It's your life. Like, there's no achievements that you could have out there, rather than the, the achievement of permission to grow, to explore, to see what is available to you in this life, right? Like alcohol becomes such it's like so little part of the journey, like you see that right now. It's like the biggest part of the journey, right? It's in your face, it's a boulder. It's completely overwhelming you. But it really is such a small part of it when you work through this lens through the lens of coaching through the lens of exploration. Because we're not trying to figure out how to fit alcohol into your amazing life. Right? It's not like, Oh, if I can just do it here, there, right? Like the moderation. Myth is just like limiting. It's so limiting. Even that's limiting, because it's like, we just want to see what happens when alcohol is not important to you. And then you can decide, like, do I want to drink like you can totally decide I mean, then you're still you're playing with fire because the the pathways in your brain have already been worn. The association and like alcohol is a drug. It's an addictive drug, that those are the facts. So like, that's why it's like playing with fire isn't like, oh, I fall off the wagon. I go right back. Like that's not how it works here either. Because you grow your awareness, and you have the practice of embodiment. But like it's playing with fire because alcohol is a drug and drugs we get addicted to the human gets addicted to so just like so you have that. Tell me what your ritual was, I would love to know I would love to give you a shout out on the podcast and make sure you go check out the link in the show notes or just go to my website to sign up for that special offer for the month of January. We can meet we can coach you can blow your own mind. It's going to be amazing. Have a wonderful, wonderful, Happy New Year. Hi, it's Mary Wagstaff. I want to personally invite you to spend one hour with me one on one. Because you deserve to know what's holding you back is your time. Alcohol has had its fair share. We're going to talk about possibilities about how to align your thoughts and actions with your dreams and what matters most to you about why alcohol is no longer suited for the life you want to live. How you can get on the fast track to freedom from alcohol and stay there without deprivation. Follow the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com To schedule your complimentary call and get a new perspective on an old habit.